When Anxiety kicks you when you're down

Hi all. Today I'm feeling especially down in the dumps. I have struggled with anxiety since I was 18 and am almost 28 now. I have had highs and lows but it's been a part of me for almost 10 years. For the majority of my struggle many of my fears were health and heart related. I had constant palpitations and swore something had to be wrong with my heart because of it. Of course all of my tests were always normal. For the past 9 months or so I have not really had any palpitations and have lost my fear over my heart HOWEVER since I experienced my first episode of depersonalization I have been so plagued by it. I'm not always in that state but I am so terrified of the feeling when it comes. Today for example my husband and I went out to eat and I felt swirly headed and detached the whole time. We needed to go to Walmart afterwards and that's where things got much worse. I felt detached and numb. I felt like I couldn't concentrate and just felt internally overwhelmed with fear. I feel like I'm "in a zone" and strangely isolated even when around a crowd of people but overstimulated at the same time. I have been to the doctor and a neurologist and they can't find anything wrong with me. While this is good news it's almost just as devastating. I have been crying for a while just feeling defeated in every way. I look at my husband who can just go about his life without this terrible thing and I just think "god please take this from me :(

On top of it all I'm due to have a baby in 2 months so I'm sure my hormones are playing a huge part in the lingering. The thoughts of "how am I going to be a good mother like this?" Also flood my mind.

I guess I'm really just looking for support today. How do you guys deal with the utter despair that comes with the thought of "what if this is as good as it gets?" "What if this is how my life will always be?" I'm doing the necessary things to recover but I get very discouraged.

Also, I have tried antidepressants in every category with no success. I actually can't really tolerate them as they heighten my anxiety. To be honest I don't think anxiety is seretonon related but that's a whole other topic lol. Therapy and acceptance is all that's really making any difference for me... I'm just scared.


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1 Reply

  • Heather, your mind and body are depleted by the anxiety that you have been suffering from for so long, you are physically and mentally exhausted by the vicious circle of worry causing nervous symptoms which causes more worry which causes more symptoms. And so it continues. Your nervous system becomes sensitised, we here have all experienced it, so that small problems become magnified ten fold in importance. So what to do?

    First you must now accept what your doctors say that the problem is not organic, these are just tricks that your mind are playing on you - and there is a solution which is simple but takes perseverance which leads to the peace of mind your body craves. To break the vicious circlr of anxiety-worry-anxiety you must temporarily Accept all the nervous symptoms that you experience, you must utterly Accept them, and continue with your daily life by Floating through as if on automatic pilot. When you feel the symptoms and fear coming don't fight them, don't continually test yourself, just let them wash over you like a great wave washes over a rock, the rock always endures. By not adding Second Fear to First Fear you are beginning the process of de-sensitising your nervous system and breaking the vicious circle.

    This is the method that Claire Weekes developed more than 50 years ago and it has provided cure for hundreds of thousands of people like you - I strongly recommend you obtain a copy of her first book 'Self help with your nerves' also called 'Hope and help with your nerves' in the U.S. which explains the process for recovery in simple terms, the book is readily available on Amazon.

    I promise you that you will NOT feel the way you do for ever no matter how long you have suffered, when your baby comes nature will provide you with the strength and love to care for your child, it is another reason to follow the advice that Doctor Claire Weekes' book offers and start practicing Acceptance, Floating and Letting time pass. All troubles pass and your's will too and you will emerge stronger because you will have discovered how to handle the imposter of anxiety disorder should it ever strike again.

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