6 years and still suffocating!

6 years ago, I literally woke up one day and had various images and fears on how my life was going to end. I've always been a happy, love life person, ever so lucky to be blessed with fabulous family, husband, children and a lovely group of Friends, basically I have everything I've always dreamed of. The past 6 years I've been battling the constant fear of death. Diagnosis from the doctor and mental health team as Health anxiety. I've had quite a large space where it had worn off and the enjoyment of my new Daughter of 6 months has kept my mind pre-occupied, but unfortunately the past month it's reared its ugly head again. I absolutely hate wasting or taking up Doctors time so I just usually suffer in silence or become very emotional and bombard my family with outbursts. I'm hoping this group may give me some direction or ideas on the subject and of course if anyone needs support on their journey I'd be willing to share or help in anyway I can.

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4 Replies

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  • Don't worry about wasting a doctors time. That is what they are there for. Part of your issues this time could be post parting depression.

  • I would have your thyroid and hormones checked by someone who believes in and understands their off-balance implications. Also, if you have a new baby, then PPD is very possible and it's common to worry about your death after a new baby. All that responsibility and Love! Let us know more about your feelings. Are you anxious? Peace and prayers to you.

  • I was/am still the same wa. I was afraid of primarily the heart, thinking that it was some day going to give out on me at any given moment. I would have the chest pains and get very scared. I get these dull headaches and sometimes think... Aneurysm.... But to be honest, I have seen my doctors and have done so many tests that I need to start believing that I am OK. Ive done everything from CT scans to MRI's and everything checks out.

    At the end of the day it was death that I was afraid of. I finally came to the conclusion that death is inevitable and being a man of faith, I need to understand that there is nothing I should be afraid of. We are all going to die and we all have a predestined timeline that only God knows.

    I dont know if you are a person that believes in any thing but what has helped me the most is understanding and knowing that I have something to look forward to when I leave this physical place

    It is a scary feeling to always think about it, but why bother? You are going to miss out on a lot of grat things around you. when it is your time, then it is your time. And you ontinue to be scared just pray and know God ALWAYS is with you and will never leave you.

    God Bless.

    Devin

  • Thank you all for your comments. It really is appreciated. I don't know if it's death I'm afraid of or what I'm leaving behind? Will they miss me? Will I be replaced? Will they even remember me? My symptoms really vary, tonight I have tightness in the chest area, on and off. Thinking I'm going to have a cardiac arrest/heart attack at any moment. Other times it's any ache or pain I have Cancer. It's really silly seeing as my husband at the age of 39 was diagnosed with CHD, had various operations and on a lot of medication. I alway think there's something wrong and that when I do see a Doctor I feel they're missing something or just fob you off with anxiety. I do get anxious about it and have panic attacks, I've had CBT therapy which helps at times but it doesn't always. Any tips or hints would be great. 😊

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