Frequent anxiety symptoms

[Godfearer]

I've had my third abortion about a month ago and even leading up to the weeks before I actually went through with it I was having anxiety attacks because it was something I started to dwell on thinking very hard.. but not as frequent as now. I feel like I'm being trapped in my own mind of negative thoughts .. that I should be dead.. or something is going wrong with me .. I've had 4 hospital visit all said nothing was wrong. However, if I feel any twitch or flinch in my body my mind goes on a ride .. of all the things that are going wrong with me. I had my first panic attack featuring all symptoms of a panic attack and it was so scary. They gave me medication to help me relax because my palipatations are ongoing. It did help me but I'm scarred because I don't want to depend on this medication to keep me sane.

[Godfearer]

Thank you for your response.. sometimes I feel like I just need to spill out everything and talk to someone just so they'll know.. but if the medication works for now this will have to do. I've been missing hours of sleep and sometimes I can't stomach to even look at a young baby without feeling terrible guilt.

[Godfearer]

I am and that's what taunts me most.. after the first I promised him I would never do it again but I also panic when I find out I'm pregnant.. this last time I got to hear the baby heartbeat and I changed my mind and started to embrace that I was going to be a mom but it was too late I had already taken the first pill mifepristone... I wanted to wait a week so that I can get another ultrasound to keep checking on him or her but by the third day I started passing extreme clots and I felt horrible there was nothing that I could have done and that I was the one who cause it.

[kinikia95]

Godfearer, as difficult as it is emotionally, it's a pretty simple medical procedure and if you're okay a month later I'm sure you are fine physically. I can empathize and I'm sorry for the situation that brought you to this. It's clear that it was not an easy decision for you. What's done is done now and I hope you can find some peace. I'm here if you need to talk more.

[Godfearer in reply to kinikia95]

Thank you. And I am progressing towards finding peace in the situation one step at a time!

[kinikia95 in reply to Godfearer]

Good for you! You're very brave for reaching out and I'm so glad you did. You are probably helping a lot of women right now. You've definitely come to the right place, everyone here is fantastic.

[Godfearer]

I was suppose to go back for a 3 month shot but it feel like my hormones or all over the place and these different medications that I'm taking I really don't want to consume too much

[kinikia95]

Godfearer, I know that a lot of birth control methods can amp up our anxiety. Also, I could never take birth control pills due to a blood disorder. Maybe if you could find a birth control method that works for you you would feel better and not have to be in this horrible position again. That would be a positive step that might make you feel better.

[Godfearer]

As soon as my hormones are normail again I will look into getting the three month shot because I don't want to mix too many medications at once