Divorce because of Anxiety

Has anyone here gone through a divorce because your spouse isn't supportive and thinks your absolutely crazy? My husband just told me today I need help and he wants a divorce. We have a three year old together and my oldest is 12 but from a seperate relationship, he wants to stay living in the same house so he can see the boys but doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm not living in the same house as he is just for my boys, if anything that will make the environment worse than it was am I right?

4 Replies

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  • Hello

    I am so sorry you have found yourself in this situation

    26 years ago I was in a very similar one and my husband at the time was not understanding at all only as the years have gone by I realize I would have been in a lot worse position than I maybe now had the marriage not ended and I at the time had 2 children 3 & 6 years old

    Move on 26 years and I have been happily married for 23 years with another grown up Son :-)

    He is so not worth having you in his life if this is how he feels and I am sorry to say but sounds like he is a very selfish man by suggesting a divorce but thinking emotionally it would be acceptable to live under the same roof !

    Part of you may want to accept it as the fear of raising two children on your own could seem so daunting especially with the anxiety but believe me the anxiety your husband is adding it is no worse and eventually it gets better :-)

    Personally if my husband wanted a Divorce and forgot his vows he took when he married me , that goes something like " For Better or Worse , In sickness and in Health " I would tell him fine but he needed to move out and that part was not up for negotiation as suggesting he stayed was unacceptable

    I don't know you or your Husband but basing things on my past I know realize because I was suffering my ex was controlling and sounds like your Husband could be thinking he can control this to because of how you are , but stay strong and let him know otherwise , why should he have his cake and eat it !

    Take Care x

  • I couldn't have said it better, it's so hard to accept the fact that because he is selfish that my boys are going to suffer through this too.

    He has almost made it impossible for me to try to leave. All cars are in his name so he's using that saying I can't take my car, he changed the bank account so I have no access to any money and the only family I had doesn't talk to me anymore since I chose to be with him.

    I haven't had anxiety up until this last year and I really believe it's because of him that I do. My body is so stressed out from doing the emotional rollercoaster he constantly puts me through.

    Thank you for your response I appreciate your insight and hope that you've done the same thing and turned out better.

  • Hello

    Yes like I said I remarried and have a wonderful husband and Son and we have been married 23 years now so was the best thing that could have happened to me when I now look back even though I know at the time it does not feel like it

    O dear , he is a control freak !

    I think the only thing you can do is take that control back I know easier said than done

    I wonder if you could go to your local CAB for advise they are very good

    The cars been in his name I am not sure where you stand , but the house you live in no matter who's name that is in unless the law has changed and I am talking about in the UK the Mother usually will have custody and gets to stay in the house till the children reach 18 , I would also and maybe I should not say this but where ever I could I would be stashing some money away lets call it the " Rainy Day Fund "

    He maybe acting clever now but no matter who's name the accounts are in he will be entitled to give you something and he will have to pay maintenance , I won't deny it is a rocky road to start with but it does smooth out and I think you have to ask yourself do I have a year of a bit of a rocky road or a life time of one which he seems to be giving you now

    Good Luck , I am sure when the time is right you will find the strength and do what is right for you and everyone in this Community will be here to try and help even if we don't have the answers someone will always be willing to listen :-) x

  • Sounds like your family realised what a pig he was

    He sounds a tyrant and you need to be well rid of him

    I've never been in your position but I have a friend who is going through just what you are

    He is making you ill

    Have you been to any women's aid organisations I have a friend who is chairperson of one and they give loads of practical and emotional help

    Wishing you all the very best and hope you end up finding a truly lovely man to share your life with Also your family I'm sure will be there for you

    I'm reading through the daily posts and feel very angry seeing the way people are being treated by others its just not right

    Take care and all the very best for you and your boys xx

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