I'm done.

[Annielane]

Rude. Mean. Ungrateful. Selfish. Stupid. Disappointment. Dramatic. Negative. Overly-sensitive. Annoying. Those are some of the things my parents have either called me or made me feel like. My parents are supposed to be my biggest fans, all my life they told me I could count on them or talk to them about anything, but I can't. Anytime I try, they either make me feel wrong/invalid, or tell me I am. I don't hate parents, but I hate myself because of them. And I can't talk to anyone about it cause everyone says that they are the "perfect" parents. if they only knew. I also know that my parents get really defensive if I ever try to talk to them about this sort of thing. In a previous post on here I mentioned that I feel like I have to voices constantly battling in my head; well my logic side tells me that my parents love me and ae doing the best they can and that so many other kids have it worse. But my "crazy" voice says that they don't love me and that if they are the best it gets then we are all screwed. I don't know what to do. I'm overwhelmed and I have no one I can talk to. No one. I used to have my parents to talk to but no I don't. Now I'm even more alone than I was before. I don't know what to do. I cant live like this. I can't. I don't know anymore. I don't feel like I'm strong enough to handle everything throw at me anymore. I'm not strong. I'm weak and broken and dying. I am done.

[sunnyg]

You do have someone to talk to. This forum is full of loving, understanding people. Your goal needs to LOVE YOURSELF and tell yourself you are strong, good, kind, and can get through anything. You have a fixed mindset about yourself, and yes, it was put there by others. So, if people can put negative thoughts in our head, people can put positive thoughts in there too. AND positive always overrides negative. You are strong and good and deserve to be happy.

[Annielane in reply to sunnyg]

Thank you. It's just so hard. I know that everyone here is here for me and its helped a lot but it's difficult cause I don't know any of these people personally.. Thank you though.

[Agora1 in reply to Annielane]

Annielane, you might not know us personally, but some of us have responded to your posts. Just like in life, building trust takes time. You may want to share your thoughts through personal messages with someone you feel you can connect with. That may make you feel better by giving you more of a one on one feeling. It must be very difficult by feeling put down from your parents. Like you said, I'm sure they love you and want what's best for you. Maybe out of frustration of your anxiety disorder, these hurtful putdowns come out at times. You do need someone right now because even in writing I can sense your sadness loneliness. I wish you well Annielane. x

[Annielane in reply to Agora1]

you're right, and its always encouraging recognizing the same people on here that respond. That's a good idea, maybe I'll try that. I just want to be okay again. thank you, you too.