Hi all, I've always just pushed my anxiety symptoms to back of all of my priorities. I've just accepted that my muscles are always going to be tense and aching, It's become routine having panic attacks everyday or sometimes every other day if i'm lucky, the ball in my throat that stops me breathing and even speaking sometimes accepted and the racing thoughts just there and will never go away. It does affect my daily life: I have time off school very often, lash out at family members because i'm always so stressed out and i often find myself being very controlling over everything (i don't know if thats just me) and not getting much sleep or too much sleep due to feeling tired all the time.
Now i'm thinking its time to talk to someone, or get some sort of help as its affecting my body more seriously - i am getting constipation and had to go into hospital because of it and severe pain due to not going to the toilet for such long periods of time and I'm getting pain during intercourse which is beginning to affect my relationship.
The trouble is, i've never talked to anyone about how i feel, i just isolate myself and if people ask the trigger questions i just have a whole anxiety attack over it. i find it so stupid but i can't control it. I'm scared to go to the doctor or school counsellor because I'm scared of having an attack in front of them and crying and them thinking i'm a failure. Does anyone have any words of advise about their experiences of getting help or that could give me the courage to get help? Just so scared but i know i need to get help.