Anxiety plus 'All of the above'

[JaxonD]

Hello all, I've been reading through all the posts and it sounds all too familiar. I don't know what I have at this point. I get angry. I get sad. I get anxious. My legs are in constant pain like I all of a sudden developed RLS. My bottom row of teeth ache constantly. I can't sleep. My wife and kid suffer because I suffer. I'm a 45 male and I try to think back to my 20's or even 30's and I don't know that I ever felt like this. No motivation. I can't go out. I can't even go to the grocery store. I can't be around people. It's all too much. All I do is worry about "what ifs". Money issues etc. my son was recently diagnosed with autism so that compounds my fears for him.

This is one hell of a rant! I made a doc appt for my sinuses last month and I got to the parking lot (an hour away from my house) and I couldn't get out of the car! I'm so fed up with my self. I hate to sound like I'm sorry for myself. I'm really more sorry for how this effects my wife and son. I feel like they are better off without me in their lives

I have a psychiatrist appt on Friday. This will be my 3rd time going. This is my first time going to this particular psych. I've felt like this for about 6 years now and it's just getting worse

I don't even know where to begin when I talk to the psychiatrist.

I'm sorry. Just so over life at this point. I feel like it's just too hard.

MD

[Agora1]

Hi JaxonD, you need some serious help right now. The minute the word Suicide comes into play in a post, red flags go up. I'm glad you will be seeing a new psychiatrist on Friday. You begin telling him what you are feeling and dealing with on a daily basis both physically and emotionally. He will probably ask you if you have thought of harming yourself, if he doesn't please tell him. Do not hold back on anything after all the psych doctor is there to help and direct. He can't totally do his job if you are holding back. I wish you the best and please keep us updated on how your appointment went. He may recommend therapy or medication or both. Please keep an open mind to his suggestions. Six years is long enough to have felt like this. Take care.

[JaxonD in reply to Agora1]

Thank you Agora1. I know that taking myself out of the equation is not the answer. It just seems like there is no end in sight.

It's like the emotional feelings are affecting me physically. It's just so irritating and all I can do is cry. Scream. You name it. I can't watch tv to get my mind off anything. My work suffers. Just blah. I hope this doctor can suggest something. Anything. I'm in a rut that feels endless. Thanks again for your words. It means a lot.

[Agora1 in reply to JaxonD]

JaxonD, I don't know if it helps to know that we have all once been in your shoes. Don't give up, there are answers out there. We will help you.

[Devin76oh]

One thing stood out to me in this post and it was the "what if" mention you had. Anxiety and stress is just that, "what if" What we fail to do sometimes is that what ifs can also be positive. Easier said than done right?

I have lived with anxiety, both cognitive and health oriented anxiety. I had to understand that control is what we fear, or lack there of. You cant control everything. This is where my faith is a tremendous part of my life. I trust in God and in Jesus. I know He will take care of all.

I knew I had an issue so I spoke with my therapist right away. I couldn't handle anything at the time. She taught me many many techniques that helped me get through the day one day at a time. She is the one who helped me with thinking of positive outcomes vs negatives ones they are called "positive what ifs"

6 years is a long to be living with this type of fear, but it is never too late to beat this. I've learned that being comfortable with being uncomfortable is key and it will lesson the fear that you have. I know none of these things can hurt me and I know for every negative outcomeI think of there is a positive one. I force myself to think of the positive one so that I can really beleive in them.

Not everything will be bad and quite honestly things turn out better then expected.

Dont get me wrong I still have not so great days but those will pass.

You will get through this and you will be happy again. Trust in the Lord and and He will help you through anything!