So upset

[bellebella]

A few days ago I was getting out and about normally again, it was like the meds had works and things were going to be okay, I was looking forward to going away for a few days, yesterday I went out in the morning and I was fine, then I was back at home and something changed, I got scared, fear, I tried to go out but I walked so far and I was still scared so came home , I hoped it was a blip and I'd sleep it off but the fear is still here and now I have to cope with not feeling confident enough to travel alone, and its so upsetting, it's what I'd been working up for weeks, it's heartbreaking, I know I should cancel the hostel but I don't want to

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Bellebella

Whats the worsed that could happen if you go on your trip/break? You may feel anxious/panic? but then again you might not? I have had these feelings especially at times when I've travelled alone (not that I've travelled alone much) I would think "what if I panic" or "what if I pass out" the fear is overwhelming, but then a therapist once pointed out to me that even if something did happen (which is unlikely) so what? there's other people around, yes strangers, but still people all the same, if you passed out its highly unlikely that people would just step over you and leave laying there. This god dam anxiety/panic gives us such irrational and frightening thoughts, its like a vindictive shadow, don't let it spoil your trip, besides, we're all here, you can still chat if you feel the need, xx

[Me-plus-one]

I would go. A break and change of environment might do you the world of good x I know it's helped me . I hope if you do go that you will come back stronger ✌

[bellebella]

Sadly I didn't read these sooner, I canceled the booking I boy I was hoping to meet there just text me and I told him the truth and now I feel like I blown it, in truth I want to cry all the time, I hate myself for letting it beat me, I feel so lonely and the chance I get to change that I mess up, I don't know why I act so disruptively