Trying to understand what's going on with me...

[Zeejet]

I recently posted in the depression group about mental health symptoms I had that I thought were depressive in nature, but was directed to anxiety instead. Here is what I wrote:

I recently moved to a new city for a new job and the initial anxiety of being alone with no friends and out of school was understandable and manageable since there was always some optimism and hope associated with making new friends and facing the challenge of building relationships as an adult.

However, two nights ago I started to feel that anxiety shift as I felt a tightening in my chest that persisted and pulsed in about 30 minute intervals. My head also felt strange but not quite in pain. It had a steady baseline of discomfort with waves of acute fear. The next morning, I felt much better, but the feeling still lingered and last night, the same fearful feelings rose again, even worse than before.

Am I experiencing depression or anxiety? There is very little reason for me to feel this bad even considering the loneliness of my current situation. I have a great job and endless possibilities for making new friends yet I feel awful.

I am still feeling the symptoms this morning as I write this even though I feel a bit better in the morning than in the evening. I'm afraid that I will have to live with a baseline of anxiety along with acute attacks.

[Beevee]

Hi Zeejet

You don't have to live with anxiety and there is no baseline, except complete freedom from it.

I suffered anxiety for no real apparent reason but the very nature of anxiety leads sufferers into looking for answers which don't exist. The constant search for the answer only serves to keep the sufferer in the anxiety cycle. I note you feel worse during the evenings. If was the opposite for me. I would wake feeling anxious and irritable to name but two of the symptoms but as the day progressed, it eased off and was able to feel relaxed during the evening.

The way to recovery is let yourself feel all the symptoms and do nothing about it. Don't try to resist them in any way. Do not try to control it, do not try to figure it all out. Do not try fighting it. It is the "trying" that keeps you entrenched in the anxiety cycle which will only be broken once you learn to accept it. Learn to be comfortable about feeling uncomfortable and carry on with your day.

Metorphorically, you need to deal with anxiety in the same way you deal with a cold. With a cold, you feel awful but you know it isn't serious. You carry on with your day, still feeling poorly, but not doing anything special to try and rid yourself of the symptoms or constantly asking yourself why you have it or why it isn't going away. You don't keep searching for recovery because it comes to you as nature takes its course and fixes your body.

Now, what are you doing differently with your anxiety symptoms? If you are unsure, please read my earlier post about what keeps people suffering.

My favourite quote about anxiety sums it up prefectly.

"You won't get better until you stop trying to get better."

Give up trying.

Best wishes

[BikerChk]

Hi Zeejet,

First congratulations on your success in obtaining your degrees, finding the job and managing the move. These are all big accomplishments!! Also, for recognizing you have symptoms that, although worrisome, have answers--and you are actively seeking them out. These all point to you being a very capable adult.

Having done much as you have earlier in my life, the excitement about the path you are on also bring some apprehension about leaving what is known and familiar. This apprehension is often felt as anxiety which can manifest as panic or full blown panic attacks.

When I had moved to a new place ready to start that job I had been preparing for, I experienced very similar symptoms. If you spend a little time evaluating the moves you are making and how you feel about each one, you might be able to discover where your angst is highest and allay your fears. It could be, you have so much new going on, you are feeling a little sad about leaving your old life (and all it's structure and familiarity behind).

I do think it's worth seeing a doctor about, especially if it persists. However, I can say I know exactly what you are going through as I have been there to.

Good job on all you have accomplished so far and good luck in your future. I believe you have the tools to be quite successful!!

BikerChk

[Zeejet in reply to BikerChk]

Thanks for your reply. What is strange about my problem is that I've been in this new city for more than 2 months now with little to no symptoms until last Friday night.

I really do hope this is just a rough patch in my life and not something more serious or permanent.

[BikerChk in reply to Zeejet]

I don't exactly think it is strange regarding the timing. You have been quite busy getting everything set up...you finally had a few minutes on Friday to let yourself rest. This permitted you to either take in all you have accomplished and felt taken aback about the terrific job you have accomplished or you had a moment to grieve for the comfortable, structured life of before. It might even be both.

Take a step back and spend some time evaluating what you have accomplished and what you have 'left behind'. It might be, as you consider each thing, you find the one that evokes the same response...then you know where it's coming from. If you don't think it's any of those (after evaluating them), go to the doctor.

What can it hurt--reviewing your accomplishments and reminiscing about where you've been?

Does that make sense?

BC