I had a mental breakdown induced by hallucinogenics after a period of high stress and depression early last year. Slowly I began to believe my delusions as reality(even after the halluciogenics were out of my system): I was a world-genius and could not die. Enventually, my family took notice that I was not sleeping which lead them to attempt to take me to the emergency room so they could put me to sleep. At the time I thought if I went to sleep I was going to completely lose any touch with reality. I became hostile--not physical but hysterical to say the least--and I was placed in a behavioral health center on a 5150.
Even though a drug triggered this event it made me aware of the caustic anxiety I tried to keep away from my consciousness my entire life. Now, I am healthier--moving towards my goals and trying to deal with my repressive behavior.
I know if I want to succeed I have to...accept my anxiety and hyper awareness. My friends don't understand, unfortunately, so I want to reach out to other people who experience similar phenomenon.
Here's some things I do daily:
-Constant obsession with how I say things and what I look like
-Day Dreaming for hours
-Distracted and disconnected thoughts
-Infrequent emotional outburts like crying
- Planning my future every single moment. I want to believe I can never be taken by surprise so I imagine a variety of situations with a proper response.
-Concentrating to the point where I forget to breath
So, what can I do practically to come to terms with my anxiety and yet not come back to repressive behavior..? I really appreciate it.