Recovering my Life After A Severe Schizophrenic Episode

Recovering my Life After A Severe Schizophrenic Episode

I had a mental breakdown induced by hallucinogenics after a period of high stress and depression early last year. Slowly I began to believe my delusions as reality(even after the halluciogenics were out of my system): I was a world-genius and could not die. Enventually, my family took notice that I was not sleeping which lead them to attempt to take me to the emergency room so they could put me to sleep. At the time I thought if I went to sleep I was going to completely lose any touch with reality. I became hostile--not physical but hysterical to say the least--and I was placed in a behavioral health center on a 5150.

Even though a drug triggered this event it made me aware of the caustic anxiety I tried to keep away from my consciousness my entire life. Now, I am healthier--moving towards my goals and trying to deal with my repressive behavior.

I know if I want to succeed I have to...accept my anxiety and hyper awareness. My friends don't understand, unfortunately, so I want to reach out to other people who experience similar phenomenon.

Here's some things I do daily:

-Constant obsession with how I say things and what I look like

-Day Dreaming for hours

-Distracted and disconnected thoughts

-Infrequent emotional outburts like crying

- Planning my future every single moment. I want to believe I can never be taken by surprise so I imagine a variety of situations with a proper response.

-Concentrating to the point where I forget to breath

So, what can I do practically to come to terms with my anxiety and yet not come back to repressive behavior..? I really appreciate it.

2 Replies

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  • That's such a beautiful,meaningful picture

    I also had your experience many years ago in UK

    Under section

    Thought my daughter had been abducted by Venusians and left

    a Venusian girl,a replica,in exchange

    Took six months nearly for that to wear off

    Sounds like you are trying to control everything you can

    So the psychosis doesn't happen again ie being out of control

    You are also 'spacing out' to try to detatch from it all

    It's a trauma having a breakdown

    And you may needs meds/talking therapy to ground yourself again

    Keep away from all recreational drugs even cannabis as could

    cause disturbed mental issues again

    I found Bach flower remedies very helpful

    I really hope you get all the help and healing you need.

    Jenny

  • Thank you. I will try those flowers!

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