I started university last week and as a person suffering with social anxiety, it was quite tough. However, I forced myself to attend all the fun events (parties, concerts, etc), I made friends, and exchanged numbers with several people. Overall, the week was a success, considering I was able to face my fears and socialize. I had fun. The last few days have been rough though... Everytime I'm with people I begin to withdraw and internalize. My thoughts become really negative and are things such as, "everyone hates me", "they think I'm boring/weird/awkward", "nobody really wants me here", "they're just pittying me", "they probably talk bad about me when I'm not here", "I'm the ugliest one here", "I'm the least interesting one here", "maybe there's something wrong with me/ I'm not normal", etc. . Then I grow depressed and feel like everyone hates me. The experience becomes unenjoyable and I want to leave. I'll usually stay and push through it feeling like crap and then go home sad and start the cycle all over again the next day. I just want to think normal thoughts, have fun and enjoy my time out. Yet I feel like my brain makes this impossible.
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