So the day has finally arrived - my cousin's wedding. My father flew in yesterday just to stay here for a couple days so he can attend the wedding.
I wrote a post yesterday, and since then, had a fight with my mom and after that everyone seemed kind of nice to me and I actually thought I was finally off the hook. That said, I finally managed to sleep last night and I slept for about 10 hours, a little more, when my father woke me up. No one asked me anything - he just said my mom is waiting for me downstairs so we could go to the hair salon. I couldn't believe it.
I got up because I was finally somewhat rested (still tired though). I didn't want to start a fight with them again and tell them I wasn't going because I know my family and I know it would be a lot of anger and all for nothing as they wouldn't let me off the hook. They did worse things to me when I was younger and I survived so I said to myself "one more sacrifice for them" and just went with the flow. But as soon as my mom started hurrying me, I realized the kind of power I had over her and said: "you will either wait for me to finish my breakfast in peace or you will go without me, those are your options" and she immediately calmed down and said "ok, ok, I will wait, enjoy your meal" and we were actually 20 minutes late to the appointment because I decided to abuse my power (she never said a word, I was in shock - if it were any other day, she'd be lashing out every 2 minutes). It was so hot at the salon - no air conditioning, only an open door and it's horribly hot today (30 degrees celsius). The heat takes the best of me, combined with the anxiety. We have to leave in an hour and I have to start getting ready. My mom told me I can be near the entrance in the church and go outside if I really don't feel like staying through the whole ceremony, and I just have to show face at the dinner and when I feel too tired she'll drive me home. I'm still very anxious - anyone got any last minute advice?
Had a visitor today:-)
