Panic is my lover

[Raphyrue]

Hello. I am sixteen, and I find myself a little bitter to be suffering from anxiety and panic attack so young. It is a little overwhelming to remember how two years ago I had all the freedom and happiness as a young teenager, but now have to deal with something that can cripple the strongest minds. Yesterday, I had the worst episode of panic that I can ever recall, and crippling it was: I never felt so emotionally worn and desperate than I could ever thought possible. But, I learned that fearing my panic attack will only make my situation worse. Instead of fearing my thoughts of triggering another episode, I began to embrace it. All of it. The good and the bad. I realized I couldn't help but think about "what ifs" and trying to avoid it was just applying pressure to build over weeks. Now I confront every single thought, and I love them. I even had a funny little thought today, that perhaps Panic became my lover, and we were a little dysfunctional but nonetheless has to accept each other. Currently, I am dealing with the after effects of the episode yesterday night, and still feel disoriented and lost with time. I'm scared, but that's okay. I have anxiety, but that's okay too. Fear can not change anything. Perhaps my anxiety will never go away: anxiety is my spouse, long term and lasting. Panic is my lover, short but passionate. It's tragic, but a little funny.

Anyways, I just wanted to give you insight on how I am coping with this struggling mental disease. Feel better and live life, fellow sufferers.

[Agora1]

HI Raphyrue, You are a very wise 16 year old. Great analogy of Panic Disorder. I wish you continued success. Take care!