Hurt and angry and left out.

[Dodo777]

My sister son got married a few months ago and I didn't know until my sister sent me photos via Email and I noticed my other sister who is a two faced woman behind my other sisters back was there. I am not a sociable person mainly because I am Broken shy paranoid socially awkward but I felt a little belittled not being asked even though I would of made an excuse not to go. My oldest sister knows what I went through off my bullying father she didn't see the many beatings but she seen and heard the verbal abuse I had on a daily basis. I feel like she has just rubbed salt in old wounds kinda thing. I cant wait for it all to be over and I hope there is another life for me after this miserable one I have had. I have had the most unluckiest life perhaps I brought a lot on myself but I wasn't given any kind of social skills quite the reverse I was made to feel I wasn't good for nothing and boy did I react to that anger and violence was my tools then came depression and paranoia what else was I to do being young dumb and thoughtless. If I killed my parents when I was a teenager the judge heck the whole of my society would of known about the torture I had to endure for years. So I aint feeling guilty or worried about what people think because I know they would of been the same as me or worse. I hate the fact that I know people think he's shot he's a nutter SO WOULD THEY BE IF THEY HAD 8 YEARS OF HELL. DAM THEM AAAALLLL.

[Agora1]

You have had a damaging life as a young boy and that damage has unfortunately followed you into adulthood. The scars of abuse are so deep. Not only didn't you deserve it, you didn't cause it. Not being invited to your nephew's wedding I agree, was a slap in the face. I would feel the same. Even though they know we would probably not go, we are still entitled to be a part of the family. I've been in that situation and it hurts. I use to feel like the black sheep of the family and now like you, I don't worry about it anymore. I am who I am. No one else in my family has gone through the horror of anxiety. I would imagine it's the same for you. We can't worry what people think of us, we do our best with what we were given.

Take care....

[Dodo777 in reply to Agora1]

Thanx Agora you always say the right things and buck me up and I feel I'm not the only one. All my family have professions and I know with the right childhood i could of done so much better. I am who I am and to heck with them. My sister hasn't replied to my text so I think she knows how I'm feeling but I'm human broken or not it hurts. Take care. X .