Anxiety and Depression

[Kaleidescope]

I suffer from extreme anxiety and severe depression and suffer numerous medical conditions - one of which is a breathing problem through smoking too much. I have tried to cut back but unsuccessfully. I get aches and pains everywhere and am extremely weak and my appetite is terrible. I have been on numerous anti depressants (which are addictive - one I have just discovered is addictive after 8 weeks and I have been on it over a year. Plus tranquillisers. Neither of these work and I think they have made matters worse as I now tremble. I have a lot of other problems in my life to add to all this. I live alone, isolated with no friends. Every day I hope I will feel better but I feel worse.

[Agora1]

Hi Kaleidescrope, I am sorry you are suffering both physically as well as emotionally. Being on anti depressants and tranquilizers is not the complete answer as you well know. It sounds like you may need a team approach to your problems. Medical doctor and therapist since you have life problems as well. I understand that living alone and having no friends doesn't give you the support you need. Worrying about the medication being addictive should not be a concern right now, since smoking is an addiction as well. It sounds like you are at a standstill right now and hoping to feel better is not going to happen by itself. I'm hoping that you will be able to get the help you need and to start going forward. Whether it be a counselor or nurse, you do need someone checking in on you. I wish you well. x

[Kaleidescope in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your good wishes. I used to live in France and foolishly moved back here. I was told there were buses to the nearest town. There aren't any. I have no car and the person who has been taking me shopping once a week is going away soon for 3 months. My house is old and needs a lot of money spending on it. All I have for heating is a liquid 'calor gas' type heater and one radiator. Again this person took me to buy fuel. My roof leaks when it rains heavily and once dripped through the ceiling light fitting into my bedroom. So far I have not been able to find anyone to fix it.

I have now got to the point that I lie in bed all day worrying. I have two dogs - I walk them in the morning when nobody is about but have become agrophobic and stay in the rest of the day so the dogs don't get another walk although I do have a large terrace.

I am physically and mentally so weak that I cannot do anything.

I always took pride in my appearance but now I don't give a damn. Everything is an insurmountable task. Even basic house cleaning.

I have been in a psychiatric hospital and 2 other hospitals. All a waste of time. The staff just stuff you with pills. There is no counselling. On all 3 occasions I came out of hospital worse, not better.

My French language is extremely poor (before when I was here I was married - we had a lovely new villa and life was good until he divorced me).

I can't go back to my Doctor as he will send me to hospital again and I have nobody to look after my dogs plus I worry about the roof.

I can't go back to the UK because I cannot afford to rent and if I managed to get a buyer for this house - it has so many problems I would be lucky to sell it but even if I did it would go anywhere near buying in the UK.

You may wonder why I bought this hovel - well so do I, it was the worst mistake I have ever made. My own GP in the UK told me I was not fit to go but the French law is you get a cooling off period and then you are legally bound to purchase.

I wake up feeling dreadfully ill/anxious and depressed. I cannot foresee anything changing! I search for a way out and there only seems to be one!

[Agora1 in reply to Kaleidescope]

Kaleidescope, I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I am at a loss myself as to what you can do. I'm in the U.S. so I'm not familiar with the laws overseas. Your problems certainly seem to be escalating since you moved to another country and bought that home. It is certainly causing your anxiety symptoms to escalate. You do need help in figuring this out, but as to what the answer is, I'm not sure. I'm hoping others in the forum may be able to give you some input. Please hang on. x