I think you're obviously under a great deal of stress. Early to mid forties is a very stressful period in a mans life anyway. You've heard of 'mid life crisis', no I'm not suggesting you are having a midlife crisis. But you are at that age when a lot of men begin to really feel that existential angst or anxiety. The passing of your father must have been tremendously difficult and would definitely have contributed to this existential angst, consciously or subconsciously.
I have to say that your weight will also be contributing to the way you are feeling. I think it's highly likely that you have high blood pressure, which would explain the ringing in your ears and your swollen feet and hands. These are symptoms that the heart is struggling to circulate blood.
I think you should see your doctor and have your blood pressure checked. You should be given a device to wear that takes your blood pressure throughout the day for a week. You may then be prescribed something like Clonadin which will lower your BP.
My heart really goes out to you Jenko. I'm two years older than you and I know what it's like to suffer bereavement. I'm a little bit overweight and I have moderately high blood pressure. I also suffer from acute anxiety disorder so I can truly empathise with you.
Starting your own business is a very courageous thing to do I can only imagine it's incredibly stressful. Of course you want to make a success of your venture, but at what price? Are you prepared to make yourself very ill?
I think you need to see your GP about your blood pressure. It wouldn't hurt to ask for a referral to a cardiologist. I think you would benefit from a blood pressure lowering medication like Clonadin (it is completely different to clonapin, they are two very different drugs) and perhaps you could benefit from a prescription of spironolactone which helps expel excess water from body tissue and lightens the burden on the heart. You may find some relief in a small therapeutic dose of an anxiolytic such as diazepam or alprazolam. You may also wish to consider getting some grief counselling from a group such as Cruse Uk.
My advice is only from my own experience, I have shared it because if even one little thing helps you it was worth it.
I wish you all the best Jenko, and I really hope things begin to look up and get a bit easier for you very soon.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.