My anxiety

I experienced meningitis 9 years ago. Immediately upon waking up I was filled with anxiety. And it has never left me. I'm in constant turmoil. My heart rate goes up to 130. Breathing is labored, I scream yell and cuss, I get pains in my neck which is unusual to me but I read where that can happen with anxiety. My heart pounds so hard it feels like it's coming out of my chest, I can hear it in my ears. When I walk into places I get this feeling of doom that comes over me it feels like the walls are coming down around me and every thing starts to go dark. My vision is even affected. Is that something any of you experienced? It's extremely difficult to exercise due to the weakness meningitis left me with. It also left me with poor balance and dizziness. I suppose that leaves swimming and a stationary bike. Yoga perhaps. Due to meningitis leftovers and the high state of anxiety. I live in Texas where the laws are so strict only the addictions get anxiety meds. A family doctor who will prescribe is almost impossible it's difficult to see a psych doctor without private insurance and of course I don't have that as meningitis left me unable to work I get less than 900 a month and that doesn't pay rent in most places, by the time I pay utility bills, buy medicine , and my grandkids come to visit its all gone. I hardly get to buy groceries. That's it. No money for clothes, shoes etc. I could go on and on but I'm trying not to ramble. Thoughts anyone????

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