felt fine this morning then came home, super depressed, racing thoughts called my aunt and told her i feel like im having a mental breakdown and need to go to the hospital which she refused because she said they will commit me somewhere. i have kids to think of and i need to get help. i go to cbt at 11 hopefully that will calm me down but i am so scared that im going into this downward spiral that i cant get out of. i have to be strong for my kids but at this point i feel like i dont care. i just cry and cry and cry. i know my family loves me but it feels like nobody does. i cant even focus on my work. it is destroying me.