Log in
Anxiety Support
37,439 members40,595 posts

My uncles died

Hi everyone ive been doing really well i found out yesterday my uncle had died 😢im guttered as i didnt even know he been gone a week and i didnt know he had cancer for 7 weeks and had passed so quickly just like mymum really.. Im worried its going to get to me big time and make me ill with anxiety again ive been doin well but my cancer phobia and health anxiety defeats me everytime my trigger is death!!! If someone dies in ny family or gets diagnosed with the big C i automatically think im getting it silly i know but my mind plays these tricks on me and not only that i love my uncle with all my heart and the fact hes gone is devastating hope i can defeat this attack this time around xxxxx

3 Replies

Hi, Sorry to hear about your uncle and also your Mum. We hear all the time about people with cancer these days. I have friends and relatives that have been diagnosed with cancer, but they have beaten it. Then my Aunt got diagnosed and only lived for a few months, although she chose to stop her treatment. It's heartbreaking when it happens.

How have you cope with your anxiety in the past and have you tried those techniques this time.

There is a grieving process that you need to go through when anyone passes away and it's tougher when it's someone you really liked. It will have also been a shock cause you didn't know he was ill.

Have you though about going to bereavement counselling that might help.

Also, rather than focusing on the fact that you may get cancer, why not focus on leading a healthy life.

I have had an Aunt and Grandfather die quickly from cancer, but they were both heavy smokers. I don't smoke, so my risks of cancer are lower. I have an aunt who's had breast cancer, but she is married to my Dad's brother, so her having breast cancer doesn't increase my risks.

My Dad's side of the family have problems with strokes and heart attacks. So rather than worry about dying of a heart attack or stroke, I have made sure that I am fairly active and that I eat a healthish diet. I know it's working because my Dad's side of the family also have cholesterol problems and my recent check shows that my cholesterol is fine.

So there are things that you can do to stay healthy. Getting anxious will just put you under more stress and if you can reduce your stress levels that will help as well. :-D

If you want to talk send me a message.

Take care of yourself and allow yourself to remember the good times with both your Uncle and Mum.

1 like

Natzsteveo, I am very sorry about your uncle. Know that we are here to support you with this devastating news. xx

1 like


So sorry to hear about your loss , it must have come as a shock to you but maybe in some ways it was better that you did not know till you had to , I lost my Dad to cancer , my Mum to thrombosis and my Dad had a bad heart all his life yet it was cancer that took him and no one else had cancer in the family till he did so as my Doctor said to me and I will say to you , you are not your Uncle or any other family member that has died with cancer you are you an individual and because of that there is no reason that you will get the big C but I know how our health anxiety works especially when something major like this happens but you are aware that this happens so when the thoughts come in try and tell yourself this is anxiety and not reality not for you anyway

If you start struggling then see your GP

Stay strong you will get through this patch and come out stronger than you were before :-)

Take Care x

1 like

You may also like...