The forever bug!

I've reached that stage whereby I can't really tell the difference between a bug/virus and an anxiety episode. I mean my body has ached for 3-4 years, shoulders hurt nearly always. There has been times where I woke in the morning and think wow I can't go to work today I've caught a terrible bug only to be 100% by the afternoon. I don't tend to worry about death as such but I worry about where I die, dropping dead somewhere inconvenient. I get anxious in different places but my main issue is my office I can sit there for 8 hours a day self analysing every pain or lightheaded feeling till I feel physically drained. That then leads me to think there is sustenance in my thoughts or I'm going pass out or fall over.

What I can't seem to put my finger on is why that bothers me so much. Also it goes without saying that feeling like this gets you fed up which makes you think am I ill, do I have a blood disorder.

My wife was away and my son asked if we could go swimming. Cut a long story short we didn't go because I thought what if I pass out in the pool and there's chaos around me, ambulance drivers ....etc and my son witnessing it and the fact nobody there for him!!

Terribly unfair for him that we didn't go and as simple as that sounds I sometimes wonder if I'm ruining others enjoyment. He's so young at the moment and we did something else in the garden. He loved it, but after he went to bed I felt disappointed in myself.

The odd thing is I can wake up the next day and it's like I don't even know what anxiety is!

3 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi MrMannering, you are certainly not alone in feeling body pain due to anxiety. I would say a "sit down" job at a desk is the worse because it doesn't allow your muscles to move and yet your mind is going a mile a minute. It is physically draining. It seems like the "what ifs" has taken over in trying to find that non conspicuous spot that you could fall over if it came to that. Do you see what anxiety does to us? Is it any wonder you hurt so much in the morning after lying in bed all night. It sounds like you do get breaks with the anxiety. That's when you need to seize the day and enjoy it without the what if. I wish you well. Take care.

  • Wow that's the story of my life, I don't know where my came from but I sure wish it'd go back. Ugh Hope you feel better.

  • I have the same problem. I have a fear of having a panic attack in certain places so I try to avoid those places. my social anxiety is horrible so there's many places I have to avoid and I also do the same thing with where one day I can have high anxiety and then next day there is none.

You may also like...