81%.. that is my recovery status

Hi All, 

Just want to tell my story. About a month ago I had a complete crisis. Out of nowhere it seemed. I began having heart palpitations, sweaty cold hands and feet, racing thoughts with intrusive harm thoughts and it began to be a daily thing hour on the hour. I experienced depersonalization, felt like A zombie. Not me. I became paranoid to the point of being afraid of being with my family, near the kitchen and even of falling asleep for fear of doing something in my sleep. I even had a surrogate form ready for my mother in case she had to commit me at a moments notice. It was the SCARIEST time of my entire life. What led up to it was an immense amount of stress at work that i could not handle and rlsp problems. I even started thinking i might be possessed or crazy. I sought help everywhere. Went to doctor to have everything checked including my thyroid. Tested positive for epstein barr. I went to a therapist and a psychiatrist who told me i had OCD/PANIC and put me on citalopram.  Since then I have meditated, began weekly massage, yoga, church, journaling and soon a support group. I have commited to pulling myself out of this because i want to be happy and live my life. I have had great support from my family have been taking b12 supplements, vit d, c, fish oil, zinc and holy basil. I will say its been a slow process where ive been jotting down my progress by percentage daily. And i can say now, the heart palpitations (which were daily and almost hourly) are gone. The cold sweaty hands and feet gone. And just a few days ago I began feeling like myself again from the first time. Joking again.. which i never thought id do, laughing, even singing in the car. The ocd and anxiety is still lurking in the background but the harm ocd intrusive thoughts are almost gone and have faded enormously. When i do feel it creeping up, im able to push it aside now or replace with a positive thought to counter. I want you all to know im here for you and recovery is possible. It takes you knowing who you really are and knowing you HAVE TO be strong and get through it. There is no other way. You have to push yourself because though i had support, pills, and sources it is all up to me and my mind. Im hoping to be at 100 percent soon.. but this is a day to day kind of thing as you all know and every small step is a victory. If i can do it you can too.. best advice is.. eliminate all that caused your anxiety in the first place and set boundaries. We must be brave...

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6 Replies

  • Brilliant so positive! People need to hear this . I was a wreck a few weeks back, panic anxiety etc ., I stopped alcohol in the evenings , started taking b complex vit d c & magnesium & today I feel happy when I wake , no negative thoughts etc ! Just praying it lasts but you are right it is a day to day thing.,! Thanks for your positive message ! Good luck X 

  • It is a slow grueling process & we are truly our own advocates. I can say it took a while to realize i was back in reality out of the fog & honestly god & prayer is what i clung to to help pull me out of what i felt was hell... Im better but not 100% just yet and once i am i never want to be how i was again.. Scariest thing ive ever felt

  • That's great news x

  • Please see a hormone doctor. If you are not open to that, please read Suzanne Somers book, I'm To Young for this".  You will be shocked.  Best of luck to you.

  • Thank you for this. As I'm writing this I'm terrified I have yet another debilitating disease. I know deep down that I don't have it, but It's hard to stop the thoughts from coming in. Then the panic sets in and before you know it I'm full blow out of control. The intrusive thoughts scare the crap outta me too!

    I started on the same Meds this week, and the Dr warned me they will heighten my anxiety for the first few weeks, as so far he wasn't lying! Reading your story gave me hope, and at this point that is one of the greatest things that can be given to me.

    Thank you,

  • Always here to help

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