The truth hurts so Much. And i feel like anxiety is winning my own battle. I feel like iam not strong enough when i KNOW I AM. But its so hard to believe that. How can being anxious do so much damage... You ruined my life Anxiety I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
So sad..: The truth hurts so Much. And i... - Anxiety Support
So sad..
44 Replies
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I'm with you...Anxiety, I HATE YOU!!!
I feel I have spurts of positivity were I can overcome my anxiety and then other days were I feel I'm never going to be positive again.
Lately my anxiety is at an all time high through my over thinking and thinking of things in weird ways. Really makes you look at things in a different way. But this site makes you feel your not alone. And although you may feel as though no one understands you I think everyone has a battle in their head I just think that when you are severely anxious you dig deeper into your brain and are more in touch with your thoughts.
I myself find writing things or even posting on sites for help and questions helps me release my anxiety a little bit.
Bothers me when people say they are anxious like its nothing I think to myself try being in my head then you'll know what anxious is.
Just know theres people here to be an ear. Your not alone
That is the battle continously going on in my head. Sometimes I think anxiety is going to win the battle and I'll never get my life back and really live again then I think you know what you can win this battle but I will win the war. Other days that thinking is impossible to believe though. It does suck so much being like this xx
It does. And I can completely understand that. Anger and rage stems from my anxiety too. Like if I'm feeling rather anxious that day, and someone says something to annoy me I feel its a very personalized attack. To the point were I do not care what happens to that person, I even wish it. Because if they set my anxiety off I literally don't want anything to do with them again.
I'm a rather emotional person too. I feel for people who are upset or going through something hard. I'll cry if I see a dead cat or dog in the road 
but for someone who crosses me the wrong way I CANNOT stand their existence.
Seeing a dog or cat in the road would have affected me a fair bit before anxiety got itsclaws into me but I think now it would be much worse.
I didn't particularly like confrontation but I'd stand my ground and defend whatever it was before this, I sure didn't go out of my way to find conflict and it wasn't often I came across anything before but now I go out of my way to definitely steer well clear of it. I worry that I may have looked at someone in the street and they have thought I'm staring or anything as daft as that and it's going to be a confrontation if they thought that. I worry so much. I could watch sad things on tv and not be affected I didn't cry or anything I knew it was tv and that was that. Now I'm so emotional that I can't watch so much because it'll set me off and I don't do crying. Last month I cried 3 times because of the way this had me feeling, that's the first time since Xmas day 2005 when my grandad passed away. Before then I don't remember when I cried I think it may have been my prom (at 16 - I'm 30 now).
People tell me my heart is made of ice or stone. It's not I do feel and did before hand I just didn't show it, everything stayed bottled up. I didn't do moaning or complaining or talking about my problems because I took the thinking of everyone has problems mine aren't so special that everyone wants to hear about them, there's always someone worse off than me.
I'm told I even bottled everything as a small child.
Maybe this has been my downfall and why this has happened to me I don't know. I do know one thing though, I wouldn't change how I lived. If I could go back I wouldn't suddenly start shouting my problems I'd do the same again because in me dealing with my problems I know it has made me strong and that strength is still in there it's just floundering round in a sea of worry at the moment till I can get the strength and headspace to throw it a life ring and pull it back to the surface and I'll be even stronger for finally being able to do it just like everyone on here. Imagine the strength we'll all have after winning the war xx
I feel like when your anxiety is so severe you do take on other peoples problems. Like you said about watching TV, do you every feel stressed watching a programme like is happening to you? I was like this with Sons Of Anarchy even though I loved it, my life felt a mess when watching it. I get what you mean about the public thing. I don't have very much facial expressions. People laugh and think I've had Botox because my face doesn't move (the reason was I didn't like my teeth, but I have braces now so I may become more facially expressive) but because my face doesn't move a lot I look quite snotty, and sometimes if I think I never smiled back when someone smiled at me I'll worry. I don't want them thinking I was being rude. I don't like conflict myself, but as you said I stand my ground. Quite firmly.
My anxiety goes through phases. At the moment its a high, but truth be told, knowing other people are feeling the same is a little reassuring I'm not a complete crazy person.
Sometimes you need a cry, I know I do. I tend to cry when I'm writing or typing my feelings, because it comes to the forefront of my mind and I genuinely feel sorry for myself. I don't need anyone else feeling sorry for me though. I don't tell anyone close to me how I feel because I don't want them to see how it upsets me or can get to me.
I think you/we are incredibly strong when it comes to dealing with anxiety. As hard as it is we are still here, some people wont understand how challenging things can be for people like us sometimes. The thought process we go through just to deal with something minor. But I honestly feel talking briefly even to someone on here can help the tiniest bit. It takes a weight off for me. We are fighters! x
Totally true. My kids don't know what's wrong with me, I have a mask, I don't want to burden them. My husband, sister, gran, parents in law, dad and step mum know what's going on with me. My step mum tries to talk most nights about how I'm doing etc and I just want to reply with I have severe anxiety and depression how the hell do you think?!?! My dad was very depressed just over two years ago but he's not a big talker and the others who know are supportive but they truly don't have a clue so it seems pointless telling them stuff as they don't understand how I can have a panic attack over running out of tea bags!!!
This community has been quite a saviour to me, even if I don't post or reply for a bit because just reading other people's problems helps me so much it's reassuring.
Taking on other people's problems...oh yes. I'm a fixer and hate it if I can't fix something for someone it then plays on my mind a lot even before anxiety xx
in reply to allnew2me
I can relate about the tea bags. Hehe i get so Panicked if we are running low on food or dish soap or my kids dont have clothes i have to do laundry Omg over the dumbest things ever!! And since ive been overthinking about the neck pain and headaches and pins and needles in my head ive been feeling so different everyday when i wake up i get a nauseous feeling. I dont even see my Home the same. Even when we go out i get panicky like ok time to go. I use to love going Out a few weeks back and now its like Wtf why cant i enjoy my Life for a little. I could be at the store and start thinking omg my heart is pounding Omg iam going to have a bad panick attack its terrible. I hate it. Iam so exhausted all i want to do is Sleep and watse my time in bed so i wont have to put up with this BS anymore......
allnew2me in reply to
Bed sounds wonderful 😁 it's avoidance though it wouldn't really help us in the longrun sadly 😭
The tea bags was plain daft. I'd meant to get some when I'd gone to the shop Sunday afternoon, they were even on my list of about 5 things. I forgot them and didn't realise. I quit drinking coffee about a month ago. I was getting sorted to go to bed, went to make a cup of tea andvthete was no teabags. Thought dammit got to go shop in the morning. Told hubby he said drink coffee or chocolate. Cba to make chocolate right now and I'm not drinking coffee BANG chest pains.I knew what was happening so was able to start breathing deeply before it escalated to far out of control but it took a good half hour for it to stop. I found it ridiculous and funny at the same time I was like it over freaking tea bags of all things. The world hadn't ended I had just run out of tea of all things! Shows how inisignificant something can be yet still set you off xx
I'm the same, like with my boyfriend I'm a nurturer I would go above and beyond to help someone, even if it was stressful on me, I would rather me than them. I'm the person everyone comes to if they want to find a holiday, or a hotel or research anything. Because I'm so particular when it comes to things I over look into things. I can find anything online because I'm obsessive and wont stop until I find it. then once thats done I'll stress myself out about something else. I originally started this site because I have an over active thyroid, so I was in the thyroid community, and that caused me great deal of anxiety. Even though alot of people go through it I found it really hard to feel I had a physical problem.
I have been given antidepressants for my mood, but I only took them a week. They made me feel horrible. I know your supposed to give them time but I get anxious about taking medication that can alter my mood even worse.
Yeah I dont really like talking about it with family. My step mum the same always says I can talk to her about things to her rather than bottle them up but I cant bring myself to it. I feel it'll burden them.
I think I'm going through derealization aswel. From what I've read. Where you dont feel the world and whats going on around you is real. I think in the most bizarre way. Almost like that movie inception if you've seen it. Digging into my subconscious. But I feel I shouldn't be able to think the way I do. Like I'm accessing certain parts of my brain. Seen other peoples posts feeling the same way which is reassuring again.
I believe a positive attitude can help, but its getting in the right mind set to think positive, not as easy for some as it is for others x
I had derealisation to begin with, it lasted about 2-2.5 weeks it was awful. Everyone else was carrying on and I was stuckstill in a daydream (not a nice daydream ) bubble. I described it as likea scene from a movie. Someone stood still on a NY sidewalk with people and cars all flying past them and they are still stood there, stuck and rooted. I couldn't hear properly couldn't take things in, would stare at tv etc nothing at all was going in. My kids would say something I'd be listening I could hear them speak but no idea what they were saying it just didn't make any sense. I could hear the words and not fathom out the meanings. It was horrible.
You sound so much like me.
I'm not taking anti depressants either. The Dr asked how I felt about them and I Saud I'd rather not go down that route and at the time he thought it was mostly anxiety and not much of a depression element to it. I'd still rather not go down that route because it's in my head I can't and won't take them forever so coming off them worries me. What if I end up back to square one etc. If it gets to the point I needhelp for it I will go and get some but untill then I'll stick with my beta blockers I've been lucky with the side effects and not really suffered xx
in reply to allnew2me
i agree iam on meds but arent helping. So i dont even bother with them. I have to say i was the same way my kids would be like mommy blah blah blah and i then they would say Mommy can i? And id go huh what did you say baby omg it was terrible sometimes it still happens so i try to focus when they come up to me with questions iam more at ease that iam m not the onky one stuck in space mode sometimes. Thete are so many Symptoms to anxiety it scares me because other diseases have the same symptoms too. Its very scary
allnew2me in reply to
My kids would get a bit upset with me then when I asked them again what they said sometimes they would tell me don't worry about it. That's just made me feel sh**. I explained to the eldest two, 11 and 8, I wasn't feeling too great and I was having a job kickstarting myself after all the chilling out over Xmas and new year and I was listening but I was in a bit of a daze/daydream and didn't quite catch everything theyalways said so I asked again to make sure I heard it right. I just needed a little patience as I wasn't quite feeling myself.
They accepted it and it seemed to help. I haven't told my kids what's wrong with me because I don't want to burden them or have them think they can't tell me anything for fear of worrying or upsetting me. I felt I owed them done sortof explanation because they would know I wasn't myself and to also explain why I keep asking them what they had just Saud to me xx
in reply to MissSB
Iam with you i never use to be so sentimental and emotional. When my husband gets upset with My kids (that arent his) i Get furious and defend mines but he has raised them from little so i do get out of hand. It sucks because everything i do or happens gets me panicky last night someone knocked on the door and i jumped got that Butterfly feeling in my Gut i made me so nauseous and i couldnt stop shaking i hate it. Anxiety has really taken a toll in my life. I just woke up and already started thinking bad things were going to happen today.. And for no apparent reason It made me want to cry because my 4 month old woke up and i got overwhelmed easily. I am about to syart my medicTion early this morning and hope my day goes smoothly from here. Have a blessed day
allnew2me in reply to
I truly hope your day improves.
Omg yes the kids. If my husband says anything slightly off with them I have to bite my lip so much. All 3 are his as well and what he could be saying is totally right like they need to tidy their rooms and inside I'm like omg here we go, leave them alone, don't nag them, do they really have to tidy it'll only end up in them fighting and arguing it used to be me kicking ass getting them to tidy. I was super house proud before this now even hoovering once a day is a massive chore to make myself do - I'd Hoover 2-3 times a day previously 😳 xx
in reply to allnew2me
I knowww right??? I have one baby with him which is my 4mo. Old and my 6 and 8 yr old are from Another dude who likes to stress Me out! But my husband is amazing step dad to my 2 kids and they Loveeeee Him! Hands down i give him the right to help me discipline them but he Never puts hands on them Ever. But when it comes down to nagging on them for little stuff i get Pissed. But i bit my toungue. This morning i went to wake up my kiddies for school and i got this intense fear feeling like omg they are leaving ill be alone. What if something happens what about my 4month old my husband isnt here its like Omg why cant i just wake up and Be careFree! Let thw day just go on and be. No i have to stress and freak out about Everything and cause a panic i just cant anymore. Last night i was just hanging out folding laundry and i got this weird taste in m y mouth and and sweaty feet and i knew omg iam getting one FOR NO REASON! i just wish this never existed in our lives
allnew2me in reply to
It would be soooo good for it to cease existing!
That's my life. Worrying something is gonna happen to my family. Today is my two year olds whole day at preschool so I have the whole day to myself. 11yo and 8 yo obviously there all day anyway. Instead of doing what most mums do and relax etc nope, it's my busiest day, clean, clean, clean just to keep busy and pass the day without having time to think about stuff too much xx
MissSB in reply to
That overwhelming feeling is horrible. When it comes to anything. I don't have kids, but was planning on trying with my partner (who already has 2) in the summer. But as silly as it sounds, and I'm not comparing a baby to a kitten but I got a kitten Saturday. And literally felt like I couldn't do anything. The feeling of being solely responsibly for something overwhelmed me greatly, and I had an anxiety attack. Really bad one, the pains were more than I've ever had before. I'm just used to looking after myself really. I really think into things so much. Being responsible for something else freaks me out. Dont know if any of you was like this before having children maybe? I honestly thought I was ready - but with anxiety at the minute I dont know if i am? x
in reply to MissSB
Ji get overwhelmed and very anxious when my Kids get Sick omg its the worse because i think omg what if its an infection or something serious etc. I hate it. I never use to be like this. And the derealization i think iam living it. Everymorning i feel like iam in a dream and it isnt me walking or touching things its weird like my senses are wearing off. I took a hot bath last night and i felt like the water wasnt hitting me but it was omg it so weird so i turned the Cold water on and it Snapped me out of it but it was weird like my body didnt really react as "shit this water is freezing" its so hard to explain. I hate it. Talking about it and finding it hard to explain makes me want to cry. If i get up or do something around the house like clean my heart pounds like if i ran a marathon. It sucks
My kids are 11, 8 and 2. I've only known I've had 'something' wrong since 31st december, so no I wasn't ill before having my boys fortunately. I can however relate to you with the overwhelming omg! When we brought my eldest home from hospital my husband needed to pop to his mums to pick up the pram. It was there as I'd been having problems with the pregnancy and it was one less thing to shift out of our flat at the time should something have happened. So they lived about a 10 min walk away. I was 18 at the time and little baby was fast asleep in his basket, fed, changed, cuddled, he was fine and content. My lounge and kitchen were open plan and kitchen was at one end. I went to make a drink, no noise on or anything so I could hear him clearly if he cried I was only a few metres away. I had a flap and legged it to where he was to sit and watch him and sing lullabies while he was asleep!!! I just had a panic what if he wakes up and I don't know what he wants, what if something happened, there's no one else here. Isat there till my husband got home. It got easier being home alone over the next two weeks and then I was fine. I wasn't anxious not like now anyway but it was this omg, you are mine and I am totally responsiblefor you it was a huge realisation. It's the only time I can ever remember being like it before now xx
Yeah my friend has not long had a baby and she has been quite anxious but seems to be dealing with things really well. I kind of go into myself when I feel like this. So worries me how I will be when I do eventually have one
You could well be absolutely fine and not suffering by that point.
I think your first is always a worry, a big worry at that. After you've had one you mellow out more with the others. You've got a fairly good idea what you are doing etc so it's not a worry about omg can I really be a parent, will I cope, will I know what to do etc. Even when your others start to sit up and crawl and walk etc you are much more relaxed and less paranoid aboutthem falling or bumping into things etc. It still stays pretty worrysome (to me at least) with your first born. The first to walk to school alone, the first to pop down the road to the shop, the first to go catch a bus alone etc they are pretty scary things or I'm certainly finding them like it whereas when my others are old enough I imagine I'll be more relaxed about it as I've already been through it once.
My eldest and his best friend went to town to the cinema a few weeks back. OMG it was massive to me during the week leading up to it I thought I'd be a wreck. The Saturday arrived he went round to his friends, they were dropped in town by his parents, went to the cinema, were gonna spend an hour ish in town after till his friends parents arrived then go home.
I said I had to go to town so I'd pick mine up when they picked theirs up. I was totallyfine until it came close tothe time of the film finishing. It was building and building in me. Luckily our cinema is right in town so I stayed around that area till I saw em come out, made out I was passing and checked in with them to see where they were heading etc. That last hour was sooooo full of anxiety it was unreal.
I know I shouldn't have 'bumped into them' before anyone tells me but this was HUGE to me given that my anxiety mostly revolves around my family. I'm trying very hard to let him live as a normal kid without a crazy mum but it's hard. Really hard. It wasn't as bad as I expected but I'll build up to leaving him to it, to me it was progress. Big progress. I'll do it that way a couple more times then not bump into him etc. I am in a better place than I was a few weeks ago so would probably cope better now. I said to his friends mum the day before it's scary isn't it? She said what? Them going in town alone for the first time. She said not really cuz I've done it before. (she has a 15 yo) so you see it is hard and worrysome but it does get easier! Xx
I suppose when you have kids that anxiety you had about yourself now relays to your kids, and thinking the worst possible things about them. I think to myself when I have kids how will I cope. My boyfriend will be in work what will I do? I think I would have to be one of those parents who go to play group things with my kids to stop my head from exploding. Or I would want to go back to work sooner. At the minute I am hating my job, it never used to bother me but now I need a new job. I need new surroundings (in the same breath can I cope with the change?) feels like a lose lose all the time
Yes i hate you anxiety !! Because anxiety make you feel like you are alive but dead in the inside 😪
Me to I hate you Anxiety !! As my friends in Cuba sunning her self
I can not go because of you your a pain in the bum and have ruined my life
Since I was 11 and now 72 I have bad health anxiety so I don't go away
For fear of being poorly it's just not fair !!!!!
Honestly just opening up a little bit of what I feel and knowing that other people are going through similar things hasn't half made me feel abit better. So thanks to everyone on this post
It's amazing how airing some of how you feel and hearing others problems can help. Bet others must think we are mad telling our problems to random strangers, some half way round the world but we aren't mad andit works! Xx
in reply to allnew2me
Exactly because we Can feel Each others Pain Even from across the World anxiety is terrible but it also brings good people Together 👫👬👭🌍🌎🌏
allnew2me in reply to
Exactly. It also goes to prove that we all feel the same no matter what race, religion, sex etc.
We are all the same all around the world. I've never been in an online community or forum or anything before - I've never had a need to until now but I live it here. A real sense of togetherness and community is a perfect word even though we are all spread out round the globe we are just that...a community.
Oh dear Lord now I'm getting sentimental!!!!!!!!!!! Xx
Hello there. Just wanted to voice just how much I liked your response ☺
Yes indeed, we all bleed red regardless of ... anything. Anxiety knows no ethnic or cultural boundaries. It strikes one and all. But the beauty of websites such as this one, is that it allows folks to talk it out with a fellow sufferer(s) who totally, totally "get it" in a way that many don't including Dr's 😤 Talking it out can be re-assuring which in turn alleviates the "aloness" of having this awful condition.
And also courtesy of the web, folks can use apps like Skype etc to see the other person especially if they've known one another for a while and forged a strong friendship over various commonalities not limited to just anxiety.
CYA ☺
It's awful, absolutely crap is anxiety. And people seen to think u can just 'get over it' the worst thing I hate anyone saying to me is ,'smile it might never happen !' God it winds me up. Anxiety comes on suddenly sometimes without any warning. We r all here for each other. It's nice to be a part of this forum as we are all going through the emotions together. And we can relate to one another's feelings. People that don't have it or have never gone through it themselves will NEVER EVER understand!! X
in reply to fiona_88
Amen! I agree
I know. It's horrible when it comes on suddenly and you don't realise why? But this little discussion we've had has definatley helped me the tiniest bit. Just to off load. And not burden x
in reply to MissSB
Iam so happy how we all Got together on my post and expressed how we feel its amazing iam so happy 😊😩😋
Yep, it sucks big time when you don't know why exactly it is happening. Took me a long time to figure it out, but from memory (based on what I read), I think it happens because people who have full blown anxiety, would've been chronically stressed for quite some time. This means that their bodies would've been pumping adrenaline and cortisol at regular intervals.
Chronic stress has now turned into an anxiety disorder. This in turn means that stress hormones are on auto pilot regardless of how a person is feeling and so they flood the body at regular intervals. Fear breeds conscious and sub-conscious fear so part of the solution is not to react physically or mentally when this happens. Hard to do I know, but with effort it can be done.
If left untreated, depression can and will follow. That's why it's important to try and deal with it. Every success, no matter how small is a BIG success when it comes to beating this horrible condition ✌
Please read dare response I promise you will defeat anxiety you can do it. Accept and allow the feelings and accept and allow the thoughts . read the book.
This book .... Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks amazon.co.uk/dp/0956596258/... ?
Yes it has helped me very much I couldn't even leave my room now I do everything it teaches you a lot and it will help there is also a dare community on Facebook we all help each other a lot so much support try it
hi there, help is here for you and this website is great for so many people to hear and respond to your needs, I know how your feeling as so many of us out there are dealing with this issue, before I started having panic and anxiety attacks I was motivated and organised and had no self esteem problems now that all this has jumped on board its all different and I too hate this feeling, but with the help of my love ones and counselling I know I can bet this, this is curable that's what I've been told by the medical professionals all in time, everyday I walk the dog for half and hour and that helps me, but everyone is different for what works for them, have you seen a G.P and have they prescribed anything for you, but please don't despair there is always someone to talk to and listen and guide you, hope this helps and I hope you'll feel better real soon, take care.
in reply to sheza52
Thank you iam currently taking alprazolam. And it helps alot but you know.... You have your good and your bad days
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