😒😒😒😡😡😡😡 it's just horrible

[sallySingh14]

Does any one with OCD and anxiety have horrible vile thoughts what causes them so much stress and aniexty, but as much as you correct the thought it helps then it comes back again then you try and correct it again but your mind not letting you then have have to think of the thought then you there trying to correct but it will not but then finally you mind tell you the good thing you wanna, its horrible really is, and when your saying what u wanna say to make you better tell your mind you feel your not saying it right then the causes more stressed and aniexty, my husband has noticed how bad Ive become with my OCD and aniexty then that hurts me more, because I love him and my daughter millions, and i seriously don't choose to have these thoughts and aniexty.... Please someone help me and I hope you all understand what I'm kinda saying

[Hidden]

Hi.I understand exactly what you are saying. In my own case I have noticed what might be called a 'personality change' since I got anxiety disorder. I am more moody, less understanding, more selfish, more quick to judge and my loss of temper is way off my normal scale. But when you think about it, its not so hard to understand why these things are going on.

We are living in a world of 24/7 anxiety,panic and fear, usually surrounded by people whose level of understanding and tolerance is fairly low - not their fault of course. We are constantly frustrated in our efforts to overcome this illness, physically and mentally exhausted much of the time. It should not,therefore, come as a surprise that we sometimes behave in a less than perfect way with those around us, unfair though that may be.

As you point out, the thoughts and behaviour are not something we deliberately choose. But we can try to control them by for example starting the day with a period of calming meditation, soaking in a warm bath, using distraction techniques and talking through our feelings with those around us. We may not return to our usual selves completely until we overcome the anxiety disorder permanently, but we can try whatever method we can find to help ourselves, and those around us, cope better.

[sallySingh14 in reply to Hidden]

I don't wanna personality change I wanna be the old me

[Hidden in reply to sallySingh14]

And you will be the old you again. When we are in some kind of pain our system becomes depressed - so imagine the effect of chronic long term pain, even if that pain is, in the main, psychological. It is bound to have an effect on how we see things, respond to things and behave. Of course we can try to minimise our negative thoughts and behaviour by whatever method we can find. But don't be too hard on yourself if you sometimes react in a less than usual way - you have a chronic illness after all. You need to believe that you will recover at some time and return to your usual self - try to avoid the negative impulses that will attack you by redirecting your focus and thoughts to positive things and people in your life.

[Hidden]

I totally understand exactly how u feel ivebeen feelinglike this when i try to go to sleep i feel like my own mind is controling me(its weird) but when iam "relaxed" i get this sudden fear that iam goin to die or something Bad is going to happen I HATE IT😡😡😡