I feel like I'm dying and dying is my biggest fear

I don't feel like anything is real, I feel like life is a nightmare. Everything is scary. I wake up every day looking forward to going to sleep but when I sleep I have vivid bad dreams, and I wake up the next morning in a panic that lasts all day. I have so many symptoms when my doctor asks me what's wrong I just look at her. There's pressure in my head all day, my neck is tight, my muscles hurt, my skin is burning, I get dizzy, I feel lightheaded like I'm going to faint, I shake, I get nauseous, I dissociate and I constantly feel like I'm in a dream. I can't connect to the people around me at all. It feels like everything and everybody else is on another plane of existence. I got a new puppy a month ago and even though I'm with her every day it feels like I've never even met her. I'm 20 years old and I can't get a job or go to school. My panic attacks force me to quit every job I have. My friends have given up on me. My boyfriend is depressed because of me. Both of my parents are deceased but my grandfather is sick of me and wants me to move out. I have no idea what to do. I don't hallucinate or anything like that but I honestly feel like I have something way worse than anxiety because of how intense my symptoms are. The worst is the feeling of nothing being real and the lightheadedness. I feel like if I didn't have those I could manage the other symptoms. My life has come to a halt. I've tried multiple medications and nothing works. I'm seeing a therapist but not enough; I feel like I need to be commited but my insurance won't cover it unless I'm suicidal or homicidal which I'm not. Actually, dying consumes my every thought. Every little feeling or thought I have good or bad ends in my death. It's so terrifying. I don't do anything because I figure what's the point? I'm going to die soon anyway. I feel like I'm only getting worse. A year ago I still had this anxiety but I was going to school and had a job. It's gotten so much worse since then. I've been to the ER 20 times. They gave me a CAT scan, drew blood, and gave me an EKG more than once. I've also had a blood pressure test and some other tests I can't even remember. Seizure tests.. another one of my biggest fears.. everything came up negative. Still, these symptoms won't go away and I can't convince myself I'm okay. Sometimes my muscles lock up in my whole body and I can barely move. When I walk up a flight of stairs my heart races. My ears feel plugged up and my brain is swimming. My head is POUNDING right now. I don't think I'm going to make it through this. I'm getting worse and worse and it feels like nobody cares or has it as bad as me. I feel like I have my own mental illness that no one else has that's crazy severe and can never be cured. I just don't know what to do now


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23 Replies

  • I've had anxiety for a year now !!!! I'm 18 years old and my whole life ahead of me yet like you I don't wanna be alone I don't wanna go out alone and I panic every time I go for w job interview or travel on my own. I used to be like this a year ago it was sooooooo bad where I felt like I was just dying constantly. What helped me was research after research knowing that anxiety CAN NOT kill you. Panic attacks can't kill you you can't die because of anxiety. And learning to cope with it and accept that you have it is good. It's YOUR body and it is all in our heads that's why it is a "mental illness" honestly hope you are ok. I've been there myself and you are not alone !!! My friends get so annoyed with me and I always feel like I'm either having w stroke or heart attack I get so frustrated with myself never mind how my friends and family feels. Just know that thousands of people around the world go through this. Some people go through worse !!!! It sounds so unbelieve able right now to you but it does get better. It's got better for me. Don't get me wrong some days are worse than others but you are a strong person you've came so far already just like me :) xxxx

  • Wow you have explained the way I feel perfectly. I have been dealing with this for 1 year now and I think what's holding both you and I back is not accepting that this is anxiety and nothing else. I'm sure just like me you focus way to much on the wY you feel.

    From all the info I have read about anxiety the best way to rid your self of it is to accept your symptoms to stop focusing on them and stop being afraid of them.

    When it comes to not feeling real that is called depersonalization/derealization which comes with anxiety I had this constantly for months but an article helped me a lot I will add the link down below. Now I only get it sometimes and it doesn't last as long or bother me as much.

    I am not sure if you are doing any of the following but these are something's that are known to help anxiety -

    Cut out caffeine and reduce sugar intake, try to eat a healthy diet in general and drink lots of water.

    Exercise, try yoga

    Breathing exercises 3 times a day

    Meditation daily

    Take supplements- magnesium, fish oils, vitamin d and tissue salts

    Watch funny videos on YouTube to make you laugh or download funny sitcoms laughing and smiling changes the chemistry in your brain.

    Get some self help books about anxiety such as 'hope and help for your nerves by Claire weekes'

    If you can afford it try alternative medicine see a naturopath, Chinese medicine acupuncture etc.

    Also if you can afford it get a relaxation massage as often as you can.

    To be honest I only do a few things from the above however my goal is to do all of them I feel if I changed a lot of this id be better it's just as you know very hard when you feel stuck and so terrible.

    I'm sure you will find lots of people you can relate to on this forum you are definitely not alone.

    I do hope you find some relief xxx

  • I suffered from sleep paralysis for an entire year. I kept awake like a zombie. All night. And then I slept during the day and that wasn't pleasant on my health. I was terrified of sleeping. I felt pins and needles on my body it was terrible. But I got out of it. I was like this won't kill me. Maximum it can scare me. Cause my heart to race. Wake me up. But so what? And I got over it so fast its like it never happneed. Then I got anxiety. I still an trying to cope. Whenever I feel negative my feet feel so so heavy I fear they'll drop off. And my head feels like it doesn't exist. And my heart feels watery and broken. I now have depression too. I feel your pain. I'm only 19 and I have suffered so much. I'm so sorry you have to suffer all This. I just get through one day at a time. It's so hard to get through I know. Believe me I know. I feel I am living a nightmare and I pinch myself to feel real at times. I stare at the mirror and i feel i am someone else. It was horrifying. I had food poisoning and I was terrified id die. I have an irrational fear of it. I get terrible dreams sometimes. So so bad I scream. But it's okay. This is life. It's not easy. But you get through it. Remind yourself you won't die. you dont know anything that can happen. Will anxiety make it better? No. It'll be taking the life our of your years. I remind myself how much I got through and focus on the good in life. It really helps being positive in this condition. you can message me whenever you like and i'll help you. Prayers for you. Get well soon. :)

  • What article did you read

  • Here is the article :)


  • For real this article just saved my life. Thank you for posting it. :)

  • I've had anxiety/depression for about 6 months now and am currently still fighting it...e ry symptom youve described I feel and also weak legs..I get scared n cry because I feel like its driving me crazy bt the Dr.tell me its anxiety I just want you to know you are not alone I am going through the same thing

  • Dear everyone on this thread,

    I feel the same things that you've all described. I tried duloxetine and am now on escitalopram 20mg. I also have propranolol 40mg to take up to 3 times a day. None of these seem to be working for me. I am being assessed by CBT therapist tomorrow but also feel that won't work...

    The mornings are absolutely the worst, especially ones like today where I have a day off and don't have to force myself to go to work. I feel sick, have diarrhoea, can't eat until about 4pm, feel light-headed, weak legs, unreal, petrified, hot and cold flushes etc etc. I live with my teenage kids, there is no-one who can help look after me. I haven't told them how I am feeling as i think they have enough to worry about with school and college etc. So I just have to fake normal in front of them.

    I've cut out caffeine and alcohol and take magnesium supplements. I try to do deep breathing every morning but nothing seems to help. I've been feeling like this since the end of July. Have had episodes of this before in my life ( I'm 49) but they've never lasted as long.

    I've read the Clare Weekes book mentioned above and found it very good. It did make me feel a bit better for a couple of days. I listened to a thing from Charles Linden where he described how he used to sit in front of the tv all day and his girlfriend had to come home from work just to escort him to the toilet each day. He apparently invented an anxiety cure method which I am thinking of sending for...

    Mostly I just want to be asleep....

    Clare Weekes' advice of "accept,float and let time pass" seems to help a little but it's so hard to do sometimes when your mind is racing.

    love to everyone on this site


  • try and control over quick coming thoughts whats gonna happen next and believe in yours self and if possible get properly check by doctors, i m sure you will have very good results. best of luck and pray for your early reccovery

  • You have written my symptoms to a T. I'm 51 and should have my things together but I don't.  I felt like I was reading my own thoughts and feelings. 

    I don't have the answers. I wish I did. I can't take medication as I have sensitivities to most drugs so they don't want to risk it. 

    Each day I just get through each day and resist the urge to go to the hospital in a rush to ask them to check everything.  It's a battle, but we will get there. Hang in there. Try to connect with your little dog as they're very calming and they love us unconditionally.

    I wish you all the best.

  • Hello Someone5673, It really hurts to read your post and it sounds that you have a lot of pain within you. But you are in the right place because here you can find the support you need to move on with your life. Those symptoms are all familiar to many people with anxiety and you are not the only one. We all feel ours is different than others, but it is the same because the real battle for all of us is in our minds. It is not in our bodies. Yet, we do manifest it with physical symptoms because that's is just how it works. You are NOT dying from anxiety, but becoming isolated from the world will take away from you your youth and love to live this life. Mental health is a real disease, but we need to take control of it, or our mind will do it for us. You sound like you forgot to breath and that's is why you feel lightheaded and dizzy all the time. Learn breathing techniques, sign up for a class so someone can tach you how to do it. You need to get at peace by confronting your fears. If your thoughts scare you to get out of the house, force yourself to do it. Take your dog for a walk to the park. You are responsible for someone now, make that puppy a priority in your life, so you don't have to focus on your needs as much. Write a journal about your thoughts, feelings and emotions. And talk to yourself when you feel spaced out. Medicine can help only when you are willing to change your thinking pattern. Do not fall into the trap of your mind. You CAN fight this!

    Wish you the best!

  • I know this was awhile ago.. But just to say this.. First I'm sorry about your parents. That must be very hard. Second, Your mind is incredibly powerful. I know this because I've gone thru exactly what you are/went thru. I hope you're doing better. Everyday id wake up I was already having a panic attack the ENTIRE day and night until I went to sleep. Then I'd have bad dreams and wake up with a panic attack. Every day I felt like I was dying because my head hurt/pressure.. I felt weird.. I'd get burning sensations inside of my body and then panic. Every day i focused on everything that was wrong and nothing that was right. The moment I woke up I started thinking about the panic attack and dying etc.. After 3 months of this I moved. I moved away to a beautiful new place that I dreamed of moving to since I was a kid. My focus was on that everyday. How lucky I was. How my dreams finally came true. My panic attacks literally were gone. A year and a half then passed and hadn't had a single one. Sometimes changing your life and focusing on a better thing is what will help you. Don't focus on being scared because it will cause panic. Don't focus on dying because you will feel like you're dying. A negative mind set never made a positive life. I promise you will feel better when you do this. Focus on the good things. You have a boyfriend that loves you.. Talk about traveling or what you want to do in the future. I hope you're better months later but if not I hope this helps!

  • I know this was written a while back but I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and everyday I feel like I'm dying. My family is tired of hearing about all the time because they rink I'm just being a hypochondriac. I have had chest x rays and seen a Cardiologist and everything is fine with my heart but I'm just wondering lately I've been getting real bad arm pain in both arms like they ache so bad and I was wondering if anybody else experiences this too?

  • The thing about anxiety is, you can at times feel like you're dying or something. People who don't get anxiety, don't understand. Anxiety really brings a ton of symptoms. The only way to tell if they're from anxiety is to take notice of how you feel when you don't have anxiety. If you're getting these pains, etc. while having anxiety, than its anxiety. The more you think about things being wrong, the more you'll start having things wrong. Focus your mind on positive things only, like being healthy. Declare you are healthy everyday. Anxiety can be beat with a change of thought. I've done it. Good luck!

  • Thanks!

  • Of course! I hope you feel better 😊

  • I currently feel this way my mom has really been told she's dying and doctors are struggling to keep her alive my wife left me and she she don't let me see our child with is 2. I'm 26 and have struggled somewhat with binge drink lately to drown out the pain but when Im sober which is most the time since I've pretty much always worked, but there have been times I didn't for a few weeks and would go on binges this has been this way for 6 years kinda the duration of my marriage. I recently was involved in car accident I was not driving and alcohol was not involved then but it left me with no transportation. I feel like my life is totally out of my control and in the last 6 months I fear dying all the time I cry constantly I feel no self worth any more. I take care of my mom everyday cooking, cleaning,dressing her. and try and work hard at my job but I have not penny to my name and I totally freak myself out and I have the runs almost constantly please any help appreciated. I know this is part mental but I Also fear maybe I've drank so much in my life like I'm going to die from past damage even though I got it under control now like limit it only few beers at night like 2 or 3 I'll have 9 on Friday Saturday. I've never been this brutally honest by the way, but saw this forum and could not stop myself from writing my experience, it's my fault my wife left me due to me not controlling my drinking and now I feel horrible about it wish I had tried changing sooner now I fear death constantly when this only used to happen occasionally and I'm really convinced I'm dying even though my only symptom is the runs not blood in my stool no fever no vomiting no liver pain. So it must be in my head I just left my doc's office he's given me a clear bill of health 3 years ago they said my liver and other organs where really healthy so this fear of death must have something to do with fearing what we can't control, watching my mom really die, makes me want to fight to live especially since my dad killed himself when I was a child life's to precious, though I didn't treat my body good from trying to drown out my sorrow and I'm not like a raging alcoholic where I shake or anything if I don't have it I was benching 250 pounds only a few years ago when I was a health nut but I suffer so much inside I've kept my drinking secret even though I'm always surrounded by people. I know I need to cut down but how when my life feels so down rite now and so many depend on me I feel so overwhelmed and crushed in spirit I kinda realize the answer is to stop because so many depend on me. Guess I just wanted to actually materialize these thoughts to strangers I'm actually a really good looking guy and have amazing social skills I would give my shirt of my back to someone in need. I've helped so many disabled in there last days, I cared for the elderly as a caregiver for years this is my job I've cared for so many guys my age that suffered from cerebral palsy and made them feel normal. Now that I'm looking at this ridiculous paragraph I know what I need to do I'm going to change now that thanks for this forum it helped

  • I'm sitting on my bed crying cos i feel like im dying like it might be my last day. Ive been in ER several times over the last nearly 2 years and all my bloods came back negative and I was told im healthy.Im cconstantly getting awful pains tho and my general doctor said I have anxiety disorder. But last night was dreadful. Out of the blue my body felt like it was burning on the inside and I had sharp pains all over my arms and legs with tingling sensation and weird numbness now and then. I feel im not sensing my body anymore or something. I have diarrhoea lack of appetite tired but can't sleep, nauseous and headache. This has continued all thru the night and itsnow nnearly 8pm the next day. My doctor is getting annoyed with me constantly calling ambulance and I can't blame him. But I've never had these symptoms before. It feels like im not sensing from below my head properly even though I have very painful muscle aches and I feel something is all over my body deep inside my skin. My body jjust doesn't feel real and like it's shutting down or dying. Im so scared and so sick of this. My graduation is in 3 days but I don't know when I will sleep again and ifI do sleep it's only for about 3 hrs then I wake up to the same symptoms. This time yesterday I was fine but now my body seems to have a mind of its own. I live alone with a cat and her nearly 4 week old kittens. If I die they will die of starvation and I hate having to worry bout that. No one would know if I just dropped dead. Im praying to God to take this terrifying illness from me.

  • Its going to be okay I had this fear also. I just think about how Im going to die when I goto heaven I will be safe and watching over my family. and If You didn't know they say that You can reincarnate whenever You want aka go into another body. this made me feel alot better. and no matter what people might die but their soul never dies. this Is not the symptoms for death. You are just having very very extreme anxiety issues which cause symptoms like these I just want to say. just remember people like us are here for You and there no worries. You have ur online buddies. and If you ever die. which will be in years and years from now. You'll see all Your loved ones. including Me maybe. just want to say Its all right. (: hope I made You feel little better. and god willing Your life will turn around.

  • Your symptoms are classic for chronic lyme disease or toxic mold illness. They go hand in hand. please look into it and learn more it is very common but doctors are very uneducated about it. You want to get yourself to a shoemaker certified doctor and/or an LLMD but dont let them put you on antibiotics unless mold is first ruled out as it will make the mold issues much worse. Go to survivingmold.com and also join some toxic mold and Lyme disease groups on facebook. You can also watch the documentary under our skin.If you have any other questions feel free to email me at cturbak21@gmail.com Good luck

  • you have chronic neurological lyme disease or toxic mold illness/CIRS.

  • im only 13 and i feel the same way...i know some of you guys are thinking omg these people are crazy and that they got this kid thinking she has this stuff...but no we are not crazy...i just hate the world we live in and i really don"t care anymore if i die....

  • Why do people just hijack these threads with symptoms that are not relevant, I never see answers here just more problems!

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