How does acceptance work? : I've seen this... - Anxiety Support

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How does acceptance work?

mrsherondale profile image
16 Replies

I've seen this one video by a guy who tells you that you can accept a panic attack rsther than fighting it and it makes you better. I keep trying and failing. Literally. I try to accept my scary symptoms and I get more scared of them. Has this worked out for anyone?

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mrsherondale profile image
mrsherondale
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16 Replies
es27 profile image
es27

Hi

There is a book titled DARE which explains this better than i could . I got mine from Amazon . I did find it quite usefull for explaining things. I know others on here are currently reading it.

Take care

foxglove profile image
foxglove in reply to es27

Can't seem to find DARE - Amazon or anywhere - would you please give me the link, or the author's name. Thanks

es27 profile image
es27 in reply to foxglove

DARE

Barry Mcdonagh

foxglove profile image
foxglove in reply to es27

Have ordered the book and looking forward to it - Thanks again

mrsherondale profile image
mrsherondale in reply to es27

Thank you so much 😁

Sandy47 profile image
Sandy47

I find if you just let the panic attack happen you can get through it. A panic attack never killed anyone! It's fear of the feelings that scares you. The book 'At last a life' by Paul David is excellent at explaining this - he suffered for 10 years so knows what he's talking about. Best wishes.

mrsherondale profile image
mrsherondale in reply to Sandy47

I kinda read that one partially. I always feel like I'm having a heart attack the feelings are so bad

Samlax profile image
Samlax

It works. At first I feared all my symptoms too and it didn't help. As soon as you accept it and get over your fear is when you start to feel better. Of course it's going to be difficult but you can pull through it. The DARE book mentioned by es27 definitely helped me. I don't know where I'd be without it. It's so simple yet I've never thought of acceptance. The author says fear is what fuels our anxiety and panic attacks and its true. As soon as you accept and allow the sensations to happen, it will not only go away, it won't control us. Check the book out, it really helps.

mrsherondale profile image
mrsherondale in reply to Samlax

I will. Thank youu😊

gillym profile image
gillym

It's a bit like having a knock at your door and when you open it, there stands a big ugly frightening bear who pushes his way past you. You feel frightened of it and you wish with all your heart it would go away. So you go into fight or flight mode.

However, if you can say to yourself "OK it's here and it does not look like it is going away, so I will let it be here while I go about my business. In fact I might even make it a cup of tea. Not adding more frightening thought to the situation, just accepting that it is here and eventually the bear will decide to leave of it's own accord.

mrsherondale profile image
mrsherondale in reply to gillym

I will definitely try thiss. But the thing is when the anxiety starts I feel my mind is completely shut down and my heart palpitations feel like a heart attack and its really hard focussing On other things.

gillym profile image
gillym in reply to mrsherondale

When you are at the height of panic it is hard to do this. Really this can only work right at the beginning of noticing your anxiety. As you probably know we add fearful thoughts at the first sign of anxiety, like "Oh here we go again." " I hate this!" "Why am I feeling like this?"!

and lots of other thoughts like this. This is what makes panic spiral and when you are in the midst of panic it is hard to concentrate on anything. Are you taking medication at the moment? This can help to reduce the panic feelings. I found that I could not control them at first.

But you can learn over time to accept that this is a part of you and you need to be more compassionate to yourself rather than feeling like you are weak compared to others. We tend to beat ourselves up a lot but anxiety is widespread and many people know what it is like.

Whizz4 profile image
Whizz4 in reply to mrsherondale

Don't focus on anything else then your feelings get comfortable with them 'I know its hard' but that part of feeling the fear , once you get comfortable with these feelings they don't seem as scary , it does work believe me but it takes time :-)

sgbmandy profile image
sgbmandy

I ermm um dunno if I agree with accepting this basically I fight it, your mind is racing ahead of you filled with negative thoughts that then cause your body to react ie physical symptoms, I've fought for years, and their just bad thoughts if you fight the bad with good thoughts the physical symptoms will ease, breath it out when you have a panick convince yourself you felt this before and nothing happened, keep telling yourself its just a thought thats making me feel like this breath it out. you will get stronger as you repeat, do something that takes concentration untill the panick passes, I personally dont accept it or embrace it I fight the bloody thing, when a bad thought comes in say NO I'm not listening then concentrate on something good, look at it as id doo my inner child wanting attention n say no, something in the past has triggered this off, mines my childhood, now I'm the adult dont give in keep fighting you'll find your own way of dealing with it and what works for you, you have 2 choices fight the sodding thing or give up, you will feel good again its just thoughts just thoughts when you understand that you'll learn how to keep it under control yourself, and live again I certainly dont accept it I fight it and I'm still here and have more good days than bad, your not dyeing anxiety or panick attacks cant kill you, although the symptoms make you feel that way its your body responding to you thoughts and fear. I really dont mean offence to anyone that accepts it not at all like I Said everyone has their own way, and if accepting hasn't. Worked for you try fighting it ya never know, you will find a way dont give up anytime I'm here xxx mandy😁

in reply to sgbmandy

I can't stop fearing it so my anxiety gets worse

LearnGirl profile image
LearnGirl

mindfulness meditation has helped me enormously. Can't recommend it enough!

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