Anxious...(j/k) relationship issue - Anxiety Support

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Anxious...(j/k) relationship issue

hippieebbbz09 profile image
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Hi.

I would put anxious in the topic but I'm always a bit anxious lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜•. Anyways, I have a friend ..we have dated in the past , for only a yr but broke off. I know he's going through things, trying to get himself together. I still wanted to be friends because I like him. I haven't met his mom yet, but I've talked to her once or twice over the phone. He knows my mom & some family , since I still stay with family until I get myself together. Lol we're kinda in the same boat. I'm in college though, but he's working hard , 2 jobs & all. The issue ...well earlier I was on the phone , wanting to speak to him & his mother answered. She questioned me about why we argue so much. History: alongside his issues , our communication is always up & down. Back to the story.. Well, I said I know we argue & it's stressing both you & my mom. I apologize for that & for pulling you both into it. Sidenote: we would kind of lean on our moms for advice during our fights. Ok...so she wanted us to quit fighting , before it got ugly...I agreed . Then , the mood changed & the talk , too. I was then told off..apparently I always provoke him , hence the arguments & temper tantrums. I must have said something to get him to that point.. I honestly ...yeah my mouth was to the floor & stayed there because after she said "you have to be patient., quit rushing him to get it together ..he doesn't need to be rushed ..& I know you're in school & stressed out with that but don't go on thinking your better than him or something because of it , he's trying to do something too" like honestly ..I wanted to cry . Anyone who knows me , knows I'd never look down on anyone. That would be harsh of me. It hurt me knowing that's her opinion of me , I'm some saddity bitch ..or something :/ I hate it. I hung up ..when my friend finally got to the phone I had nothing to say. My issue ..because now she wants to meet...I wonder should I even continue this friendship or leave him alone. The only thing I wanted was for him to have a better attitude while dating me . He was so miserable &'dragged me there with him ..it was frustrating. I wanted him to treat me better & not take his anger out on me. He would never talk to me , or we'd never do too many things together without him either standing me up or leaving me in the middle of a date. We never laughed together.. We never had such a bond where it was like we could confide in each other or be comfortable & secure & happy , even in each other's silence . I understand that now, maybe I was in the way of him , getting himself together..I feel so bad & hurt ..I only brought this on myself. I met him when I was 16 , my first time was with him. We lost contact then I found him online lol ..reconnected ..dated for a yr now we're friends. But that talk with his mom ? Like I was the cause for all of this? Maybe I was/am & should leave him alone. I'm emotionally scarred from that discussion alone , on the phone with his mom..I could imagine how a one on one would be. I'm like wiping tears ..that hurt me. I never want to be a distraction to anyone trying to better themselves & I was with him. I got him angry all the time because I should've left him alone .. & also she thinks I don't even like him. All she hears is him liking me ..that's bull. There's things I did for him like put half towards an old vintage car he wanted , since he didn't have any car ...I did that because I wanted to see him happy ..I didn't ask for a thing in return. He loves cars ,& now he takes care of it, fixes it up daily. I really am a bratty bitch I guess πŸ˜” I apologize for my language. I had to vent or I would've been anxious about this all day . I'm not necessarily looking for advice , I know I'm the one who put this on myself. I'm staying single ..I probably will never find that one.

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hippieebbbz09 profile image
hippieebbbz09
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3 Replies
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Whizz4 profile image
Whizz4

You sound like you gained nothing from this friendship... You should just leave him alone to sort out his issues and get on with enjoying your life :-) :-)

hippieebbbz09 profile image
hippieebbbz09 in reply to Whizz4

Yeah I haven't. I really have tried being there for him but I should let him tend to his issues & handle things on his own & go about my business . It's been stressing me out for a year & a half. Plus, I'm kinda sad about what was said in the phone between his mom & I ..there's more she said. I think the best thing for us is to part ways. Thanks for your honest advice/opinion

Whizz4 profile image
Whizz4 in reply to hippieebbbz09

Good luck :-)

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