Anxious...(j/k) relationship issue

Hi.

I would put anxious in the topic but I'm always a bit anxious lol 😂😕. Anyways, I have a friend ..we have dated in the past , for only a yr but broke off. I know he's going through things, trying to get himself together. I still wanted to be friends because I like him. I haven't met his mom yet, but I've talked to her once or twice over the phone. He knows my mom & some family , since I still stay with family until I get myself together. Lol we're kinda in the same boat. I'm in college though, but he's working hard , 2 jobs & all. The issue ...well earlier I was on the phone , wanting to speak to him & his mother answered. She questioned me about why we argue so much. History: alongside his issues , our communication is always up & down. Back to the story.. Well, I said I know we argue & it's stressing both you & my mom. I apologize for that & for pulling you both into it. Sidenote: we would kind of lean on our moms for advice during our fights. Ok...so she wanted us to quit fighting , before it got ugly...I agreed . Then , the mood changed & the talk , too. I was then told off..apparently I always provoke him , hence the arguments & temper tantrums. I must have said something to get him to that point.. I honestly ...yeah my mouth was to the floor & stayed there because after she said "you have to be patient., quit rushing him to get it together ..he doesn't need to be rushed ..& I know you're in school & stressed out with that but don't go on thinking your better than him or something because of it , he's trying to do something too" like honestly ..I wanted to cry . Anyone who knows me , knows I'd never look down on anyone. That would be harsh of me. It hurt me knowing that's her opinion of me , I'm some saddity bitch ..or something :/ I hate it. I hung up ..when my friend finally got to the phone I had nothing to say. My issue ..because now she wants to meet...I wonder should I even continue this friendship or leave him alone. The only thing I wanted was for him to have a better attitude while dating me . He was so miserable &'dragged me there with him ..it was frustrating. I wanted him to treat me better & not take his anger out on me. He would never talk to me , or we'd never do too many things together without him either standing me up or leaving me in the middle of a date. We never laughed together.. We never had such a bond where it was like we could confide in each other or be comfortable & secure & happy , even in each other's silence . I understand that now, maybe I was in the way of him , getting himself together..I feel so bad & hurt ..I only brought this on myself. I met him when I was 16 , my first time was with him. We lost contact then I found him online lol ..reconnected ..dated for a yr now we're friends. But that talk with his mom ? Like I was the cause for all of this? Maybe I was/am & should leave him alone. I'm emotionally scarred from that discussion alone , on the phone with his mom..I could imagine how a one on one would be. I'm like wiping tears ..that hurt me. I never want to be a distraction to anyone trying to better themselves & I was with him. I got him angry all the time because I should've left him alone .. & also she thinks I don't even like him. All she hears is him liking me ..that's bull. There's things I did for him like put half towards an old vintage car he wanted , since he didn't have any car ...I did that because I wanted to see him happy ..I didn't ask for a thing in return. He loves cars ,& now he takes care of it, fixes it up daily. I really am a bratty bitch I guess 😔 I apologize for my language. I had to vent or I would've been anxious about this all day . I'm not necessarily looking for advice , I know I'm the one who put this on myself. I'm staying single ..I probably will never find that one.

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3 Replies

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  • You sound like you gained nothing from this friendship... You should just leave him alone to sort out his issues and get on with enjoying your life :-) :-)

  • Yeah I haven't. I really have tried being there for him but I should let him tend to his issues & handle things on his own & go about my business . It's been stressing me out for a year & a half. Plus, I'm kinda sad about what was said in the phone between his mom & I ..there's more she said. I think the best thing for us is to part ways. Thanks for your honest advice/opinion

  • Good luck :-)

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