Anxiety literally changed my life

I am only 13. And i am willing to write this long post because i feel like i'd feel better if i actually write this I'd get some helpful information about how to cure my anxiety. Okay, ill just start.

Ever since i was 11 i had terrible anemophobia (fear of the wind).And i am still not sure how it actually got it. I'd hide from the wind from days, i'd get so bad panic attacks. I couldn't go out normally without checking the clouds, will it rain and will the rain also bring wind. And that is why, i stopped going outside, last summer. But now since i got over it this is not really imporant, just to kind of get in the story how i got my GAD. Ever since, i have stayed around 3 months at home. This is where the actual hell starts for me. Probably because i haven't left my house in a long time, since october 2014 I have gotten derealization disorder. Every day was actual hell for me. I remember only crying and screaming these months. It was the scariest thing in the world. Because of my derealization, i thought that i am dying, and this slowly creeped into my mind on random moments. Then it has became more often. Now to the point that 24/7 its in my mind. This where my anxiety starts. I have experienced terrible physical symptoms, first time it happened in class, I didn't feel well because my derealization hit me up the first time in school, i tried not to panic and told my teacher to go home. She sent me off with another girl home, but on my way leaving the classroom my legs and arms felt incredibly weak, i felt fatigue, and i couldn't breathe properly, i was 100% i was dying. They had to call my parents and the principal because it was really awful, and they thought i was sick. I had to check my blood, but the results were great. I checked my blood again after a month, and same results. I kept experiencing these physical symptoms till the point i skipped a whole month in school. But this left me more and more anxious. I had to visit my doctor, and i was then i was diagnosed with GAD. I still didnt accept this, i thought i am being sick, and at this point i got hypochondria too. Also these terrible sympoms and faint-feels kept happening in school nearly everyday, but I am glad my teacher understood me, and sent me home each time. Things got a bit better after a month, I have found a way to a better control of these symptoms, although sometimes they overtook me. I started going outside like 4 months ago, once in a week, and i felt a bit better. But then, i started thinking about this symptoms, and they kept happening and once again i am like this. I really want to be a normal person. I really want to go outside with my friends and have fun, and be free. I forgot how it feels like to be happy . I am emotionally numb, i can't feel anything anymore. I'd do anything to bring my old life back. its now summer, and because of this i havent left my house the whole summer again. I just want this to stop. I hope i made sense, my main thing was this anxiety keeps causing me physical symptoms, and it is in my mind 24/7, it made me emotionally numb, and gave me other disorders, i can't sleep because of it, it make me not leave my house, and i have no strength to even go, although i am not actually physically sick. And i want this to competely end. I'd be glad if someone reads and actually understands what i said, because im bad at exlaining. Thanks for each answer you will give.

4 Replies

  • Hello

    I have read your post and I have to say that you should be 16 years of age to be on Health Unlocked so at 13 that worries me straight away but that is not your fault that you have managed to become a member that is down to Health Unlocked but please do be careful on sites and I hope your parents monitor what you are doing when you are on line because you are very young

    It is so sad to see someone so young suffering with anxiety , are you getting any support because I feel with the right support there would be no reason why eventually you will get your life back

    I would talk with my Doctor & parents and tell them exactly how you feel and ask both to put the right support in place for you

    Take Care x

  • Please listen to what Bounce says...she knows exactly what she is talking about and what you need to do... Its hard to believe a 13 yr old could write this well!.... so you must be a very intelligent young lady! I hope you are able to talk with your parents... Please ask them if they would HELP YOU in asking your family dr(s) to speak with a therapist... most offices can refer you. You are an intelligent young lady...I KNOW you can figure this out -- how to help yourself. Please take the best of care.

  • I understand completely and at first I would like to say, this does end, and I will gladly give you answers :) but first a question, are you still in fear of the wind? And we will go from there, kind regards. Michelle

  • No, I probably forgot to mention that I actually lost my fear of the wind completely after my first derealization problems

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