My anxiety is that I have a hard time with fearing that I'm not normal and one day I'll just go crazy and need to be in an institution.
I'm feeling better today. I spoke with my great Aunt yesterday because she is a retired psychologist. She's dealt with defax children and child molesters and physcopaths. You name it and she's talked to them.
I told her about my first panic attack 8 years ago and all the things happening in my life when I have panic free months and years and then when I'm a total wreck and it takes every ounce of me to get out of bed. It felt so good to speak about it. At the end of our conversation without me even asking her she told me she thinks I'm very normal!! That makes me feel so good! That was really what I wanted out of our conversation but I didn't want to tell her that and give me a sympathy answer. Then she told me that after listening to all I've said, it seems like I fear the fear of losing control. When she said that I felt a relief like YES!! That is exactly how I feel but I've never been able to put orbit words.
I've had a very good day today saying that over and over to myself. I fear the fear of losing control of my mind in general. Doesn't matter if it's at my house with my family or in a public place. Which makes me have constant anxiety in the back of my mind even if things are good.
I'm wondering if anyone else fears the fear of having a panic attack? Does this make sense?
Thanks for listening