Anyone else obsessing over blood pressure?

[seamoon]

Hi everyone. I am a 40 year old male. About five years ago I checked my bp with my fathers monitor at home and got extremely scared as the reading was something like 160/105. Reasonably, this was because I was so nervous about taking the bp (have an extreme test taking phobia) that my heart was racing, sweaty palms etc.

I managed to partly suppress that result (I have an extreme fear of doctors) and started working out etc. About a year later I tested again. I was in better shape then (even though not very bad before), but still similarly high readings.

Somehow I took the bull by the horns and contacted a doctor. She took all blood tests, and also some kidney thing (to rule out secondary hypertension). All was fine, except that I was unable to get a low bp reading. She put me on medication, but still I was unable to get a low reading in her office. Finally we decided I got a home monitor. First reading was 160/95 then when relaxing, down, down, down to 125/70 etc. This is how it has been for the last few years. I test like every 3 months or something. Always the same. Starts at 155/95 because I'm nervous. Then down after relaxing.

A couple of days back I got some weird idea to check the bp while I was nervous and uptight. Can't really explain why. I got the machine out, and just put the cuff on while standing up, not being relaxed at all. I held the arm straight down the side, not the right angle, and my heart was racing nearly like a panic attack. Still, I pressed the button and got something like 180/120. This freaked me out so bad! Now I feel like I will never ever want to go near that machine. Also, am fixated on the idea that my bp will be 'stuck' on that high level, even if I relax. Sets me into full spin about doctors, hospitals, death, diagnoses etc. etc. I am in desperate need of some affirmation that I will be ok. However, I will not be able to check my bp anytime soon. My heart will race again, the reading will be high again, anxiety will be worse etc etc...

[sakeith56]

Yes, this is where I am now. My husband spent 6 mths in the hospital with a brain injury. The stress of that has made me phobic to Drs, and specifically to taking my blood pressure. It's nuts! But what I'm doing today is working to desensitize myself by keeping the wrist monitor on, and taking it every 20 min. I did this a few months back and it worked. I just need a refresher. My anxiety is spiking cause I have a Drs appt in a few days. I know it's crazy, but it's an ocd obsession running in the back of my mind. So annoying!