Anxiety Support
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Anyone else obsessing over blood pressure?

Hi everyone. I am a 40 year old male. About five years ago I checked my bp with my fathers monitor at home and got extremely scared as the reading was something like 160/105. Reasonably, this was because I was so nervous about taking the bp (have an extreme test taking phobia) that my heart was racing, sweaty palms etc.

I managed to partly suppress that result (I have an extreme fear of doctors) and started working out etc. About a year later I tested again. I was in better shape then (even though not very bad before), but still similarly high readings.

Somehow I took the bull by the horns and contacted a doctor. She took all blood tests, and also some kidney thing (to rule out secondary hypertension). All was fine, except that I was unable to get a low bp reading. She put me on medication, but still I was unable to get a low reading in her office. Finally we decided I got a home monitor. First reading was 160/95 then when relaxing, down, down, down to 125/70 etc. This is how it has been for the last few years. I test like every 3 months or something. Always the same. Starts at 155/95 because I'm nervous. Then down after relaxing.

A couple of days back I got some weird idea to check the bp while I was nervous and uptight. Can't really explain why. I got the machine out, and just put the cuff on while standing up, not being relaxed at all. I held the arm straight down the side, not the right angle, and my heart was racing nearly like a panic attack. Still, I pressed the button and got something like 180/120. This freaked me out so bad! Now I feel like I will never ever want to go near that machine. Also, am fixated on the idea that my bp will be 'stuck' on that high level, even if I relax. Sets me into full spin about doctors, hospitals, death, diagnoses etc. etc. I am in desperate need of some affirmation that I will be ok. However, I will not be able to check my bp anytime soon. My heart will race again, the reading will be high again, anxiety will be worse etc etc...

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