Don't know where to start

I suffer from anxiety & low mood due to historical family issues. I've had counselling which helped understand why I feel the way I do & equip me with the tools to make a change.

I want to change & feel better but I need to really focus on my behaviour/thoughts which takes a lot of energy. I've made small steps & achievements which I feel good about that.

Working part time kept me going at my really low times & helped distract me from how I was feeling.

My problem at the moment is work has got so stressful. My boss is expecting 5 days work in 3 & I just can keep going. My attempts to work on feeling better are being sidelined because I'm just too mentally exhausted with work. I've stayed in bed all day today & am supposed to be meeting friends this evening. I just dont feel like putting on a happy face when I feel so rotten. (Also, I feel anxious in social situations).

I know I need to deal with the root of the problem at work, but I need to build myself up to it. I want to get away from the stress for a while. My worry is that it'll make things worse, because I'll have more time to pity myself & it'll be difficult to go back. Has anyone else felt the same? I'm afraid to take time out incase I can't pick myself up again but if I keep going I don't have the energy to tackle my stress/anxieties & make the change I need.

4 Replies

  • Fade

    I understand why you had family issues that now seems to be in some sort of control, although I cannot at this time see why you feel bad in a group of like minded friends If you go out it may help you lift your mood as you have Sunday to relax ? and prepare for your return to work

    Many bosses have a habit to push and push to see how far their staff will take it, all I can suggest is give thought to your position there, I cannot advise you on that. There is no easy way and the only thing I can suggest is use your coping exercises from your consultations.

    If you feel you would be better of or being with the Devil you know, thier are the three pathways open to you.

    I have suffered mental health problems now since I was a teenager off and on and now I am near sixty five years old and now I am in a position to begin a new life that was denied to me for so many years. My decision was radical and personally I would not expect you to take a pathway like mine as I feel you are still quite young, sorry if I am wrong.

    We all need to understand we need to control our own destiny as much as we can and sometimes we find at that time we have to keep our heads down and hope for the best. Personally looking back I wish that I had taken a more radical approach with my life, all I can say we need money to live and also a satisfactory pathway to take to give us the needs we want throughout our lives. Whatever you decide, make it so. And run with it


  • Hi Bob, Wow! Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your views. I'm nearly 40, work 3 days and live with my husband & two children. The way I handle relationships is much the same as when I was a kid. That's probably why I come across younger. I grew up with my alcoholic mom & conditioned myself to please others, be submissive, independent & keep my thoughts & feelings to myself. Hence, my friends don't have a clue about my issues. I love them all, but keep them at a distance because that comes natural to me.

    You are right, I am in control. I need to grab the bull by its horns and tackle the cause of the stress at work. It takes a lot of courage though. I can do it (I think!!) but its going to put me miles out of my comfort zone. I have given no indication to my colleagues that work is getting to much for me. I just smile, get on with it, then crumble in my own time. I just wonder if I would feel better if I distanced myself from the stress for a while & built up the courage...or is this just avoidance of the enviable?! I am a very emotional person & your advice to take a radical approach has helped me see the issue as a professional one, not emotional. Can I ask what was the instigator that lead you to a new path? Are you happy now? I Know there isn't a miracle cure but I'm hoping that my anxieties regarding handling relationships (personal & professional) will melt away if I keep using the coping strategies. Thanks again for the different perspective. MacFade.

  • I was forced by the Environment Agency to get out of a family house that our family had been in since 1930.

    We had purchased a holiday home up on Scottish/England Border. We got the chance to purchase the next door cottage and we just moved out from our old home and rented it out.

    All seemed to happen at the right time within 3 months for the two cottages

    We then knocked both cottages together and had the place adapted for my disability,

    We have only been down to the property once in about two years as we put the thing in the hands of our Agent. It would now look like it is sold, so we have managed to get out of a horrible situation as our lives at old address were unpleasant because of family problems.

    Now we will only go back once more to empty the loft and that will be it. We have wonderful views and the cottage is set in own grounds of about half acre. We are happy now and I will be sixty five in several months time

    It took a crisis to move us one and the big risk hopefully has paid off, sometimes we all need to be brave and take life by the horns and shake the beast.


  • I'm really pleased to hear how things worked out for you. I wish you all the happiness you deserve. Your persective has been more helpful than you know. My husband told me to take control but I didn't listen. After a weekend away from the stresses, I'm going to work tomorrow and will talk to my boss....just need to prepare what I'm going to say. I'm not looking forward to it at all.

    Thanks again Bob.

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