Children

[Determineddebbie]

I drove a painful 1.5 hours down a busy motorway to visit my daughter and son in law . I have to stay over night so as to manage the long drive back . I left just after breakfast and cried all the way home . Either the illness makes me feel mid understood or my children are in denial . I went to bed in agony only to read a text from my daughter ... Not asking if I got him ok but to recommend a hair dye to me !!!

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[Katkins6513]

Hi! I also feel my kids just don't or won't accept that I am a person suffering from depression and anxiety! Do they even care? My sisters also, they are not supportive, thier thoughts on the matter is " Well, if she goes on so many holidays, there isn't much wrong with her"......without those holidays, I would be back in the hospital, where I just spent 4 months. My kids ignore what I say, laugh at me, try and undermine my decisions. When we are all together,I just give up trying to say anything, it just doesn't work, I end up just feeling like a " nobody" who's opinion counts for nothing! I am feeling really down at the moment, don't know what to do. When I first had my breakdown, they where supportive, now they just seem to be mad at me for not "pulling myself together"...... I have now gone back to the person who smiles and pretends everything is good, when it's far from it!

[Determineddebbie in reply to Katkins6513]

Hi I went to my community mental health nurse today and told her about my eldest daughter trying to throw money and bright ideas at me rather than admitting that I'm ill Andy nurse says I should tell her how she makes me feel ..... She's got a good point because as long as we smile and are seen coping they ( the children) won't get the message . My nurse also said I should put myself first ... So well done you for going on holiday. , please don't loose sight of who you are xxxx

[Katkins6513 in reply to Determineddebbie]

I wish I could tell them! I do agree it's the way to go though!I discussed it with my therapist while I was in the hospital At that time I was upset because they never came to visit me ( well, twice in four months) She thought they where in denial, they had always been used to having a " Strong Mum" and they just didn't know how to handle seeing me as I now am. I have ended up backing away from them, sad really! Can't help it right now. It's tough being a parent! I have 5 children, aged between 41 and 21.

I am putting myself first, have put my house up for sale, and am moving on with my life, just with some sadness.

I wish you all the best with your children!

[Determineddebbie in reply to Katkins6513]

Thank you . I wish you luck with your move ... I think Shirley Valentine got it right lol !!

[Katkins6513 in reply to Determineddebbie]

LOL.....That was a great movie!

[Determineddebbie in reply to Katkins6513]

I keep threatening to spend their inheritance and buy myself a camper van lol wouldn't that be one up their back sides not knowing where I was even if they could be bothered to visit .y daughters got the jump because I won't die my hair .... I intend to grow old dis gracefully lol

[cazadoo]

Some people understand some people dont or dont want to. Its a shame i have my partners family who are the latter. I find it best to think its nothing i did and try to forget about theit reactions .

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i know this is an old post but ive just read it

i suffer from depression, and anxiety and next year im going in for a double lung transplant and i still cant get the kids to see im not well

your right to put yourself first its selfful not selfish and if i could buy a camper van i would and i would be off..no joke x

[Determineddebbie in reply to Hidden]

Do you have cystic fibrosis ?. Hope the new lungs will give you a new lease of life . Surprisingly just when you've given up hope of seeing them they drop in . My 24 yr old son came with my grandson 2 days running this week .. Lord knows when I will see them again . I just thank God I did . Love and healing to you and thank you for replying to my post xx

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im still being tested for rare forms of cf but ive just had a call off the transplant coordinator saying my antibodies are 78% so i dont even know if m still going to be offered it

i have a 2 year old granddaughter and if they didnt bring her round i would hit the roof and maybe run them over in the camper van ha ha x

[Determineddebbie]

Hope your antibodies sort themselves out . Don't you find tha your whole life has been dedicated to looking after your family ?... I feel it's now time for me , I've started a healthier lifestyle and hope to feel it's benifits soon . Better late than ever xxx