Hi everyone. The past few months I have been having very vivid dreams that I am being raped or molested. Please keep in mind that I have never been sexually abused, or at least I don't remember being sexually abused if I was.
I asked my therapist about it (I see her regularly for anxiety) and she expressed a lot of concern about these nightmares. I did some journaling and I came to the conclusion that these nightmares might be linked with my fear of intimacy in general. I have also noticed that I feel very threatened by men.
I am not sure where this fear of/disinterest in sex started. I have been wondering if I am asexual due to the fact that I have absolutely no desire to have sex, but rather feel anxiety and disgust when I think about it. Another possibility is that my sexuality as been repressed to the point of being afraid of it (I am Mormon, and our church puts a lot of shame around sex/sexuality...thanks a lot, religion. So helpful.)
I am frustrated, scared, and antsy to understand my sexuality better. I have never kissed anyone (I am sixteen), and I won't rush into kissing anyone or having sex, but I don't know if anyone else has had a similar experience.
Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.