I don't really know what this is about

[Torot0]

Hi so I havent been on here in about a week and a half, its because stuff got really bad and I decided to iscolate myself which I know is bad. I spent a straight 6 days is a heavy panic attack and didn't talk to anyone, I also started cutting myself again, and i know how stupid that is. On Friday things started to clear up a bit, i started finding a new style which I liked, not just to please the people around me like i dressed before. It made it better when i started to feel like myself, today i feel wierd, not necasserily in a bad way, i dont know, my stomach is all tingly and i feel nervous for no reason. My heart is beating really fast, but this is different from a panic attack, it doesnt feel the same. I just wanted to talk to someone right now, i don't know why

[Torot0]

Ok so this is wierd, and jas never happenes before, i have started crying and feeling really sad but I'm also laughing at the same time

[fadedlizard in reply to Torot0]

It sounds like your emotions are all over the place at the mo - you might feel better if you can get it out, in whatever form it takes.x

[Torot0 in reply to fadedlizard]

Thanks, I'll try my best

[fadedlizard]

Hi Torot,

You sound very anxious at the moment. Do you know what has triggered this episode?

I'm sorry to hear you have been cutting yourself. I'm a cutter too (in treatment) so I understand the compulsion and the relief it brings you but SI is not the answer. It always, always creates more problems than it solves.

Please try to get some help with this. You deserve so much more. In the meantime please continue doing the little things that help you feel better about yourself and give you a clearer idea of who you are, such as changing your style, etc. It doesn't feel like a lot but anything that helps distract you from the urge to cut is a benefit

Please keep posting. I know your first instinct is to hide away when you feel bad but you might find it really helps if you come on here and chat instead.

Best Wishes,

Lizard.xxx

[Torot0 in reply to fadedlizard]

Thanks, I'll try to keep posting whenever stuff gets bad. And i always regret it after I harm but when I'm in that mode, I just think differently and do it.

[Hidden]

HI toro x Sometimes the best thing to do when you are in the middle of severe panic is to share it with someone you can trust, tell them how you feel and what you may do they can help to calm you. Im sorry to hear you are cutting yourself and I can understand this is something you do to release that built up frustration but it will end in a way that is not good. we can bear the scars for so long before the regret takes hold. I urge you to seek help with your doctor for this asap there is not need to suffer in this way x Sometimes we truly need to stop pleasing everyone else and look inside and be who we where meant to be, don't let yourself be repressed, we all have the right to live as we want x It could be that finding this new style has awakened new senses and now you are unsure about them, we do tend to fear the unknown but it can be good. Please try to chat to a doctor or some one about your cutting we can help with the anxiety questions xxx If you get to down and feel you need to chat ring 08457 909090 (UK) the samaritans can help x Donver x

[Torot0 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, I have started to try to be myself even if it is a phase that will pass in a couple of years. And I'll try to call that number some time, it might help. thanks for the advice

[saraanne]

please don't cut your self, i really hope & pray things get better for you : )

[Torot0 in reply to saraanne]

Thanks, I'll try not to, and I hope so too