Sorry in advance but it has been a ruff week! So I went to docs find out I have high blood pressure caused from the anxiety. I'm on pills. Takes me 3 days to wrap my head around taking them. Have a fear of taking meds. I take them and luckily don't feel any side effects. But the panic has kicked in and I'm a nervous wreck! Monday I get up getting ready for work. Get all hot and feel really dizzy. Freek out because of that. Feels as close as I have come in over a year to having a panic attack. Now I'm off for two days so I can get a grip. The rest of the week I'm a bundle of nerves, feel dizzy, tummy upside down, hot, jumpy, headaches etc. Friday boss pulls me in to talk says that he wants to know what is going on. He says you have been late 11 times this year. (In my defence I have told my boss and he says that he understands about the panic and the anxiety) if I'm going to be late I always call and say that I'm on my way or whatever. I work 9.5 hours a day. So anyways he is sitting there wanting an explanation. I almost started to cry I'm so tired! I feel I'm fighting as hard as I can. Now all I can think is I'm going to get fired! How do I explain this to anyone I can't explain it to myself. I was just starting to calm down on Friday. Now weekend is here and I'm a mess again. I was in store with my husband and I'm like ok I got to go.....feeling hot and dizzy heart racing mouth dry shaking. I'm so sick of this ......all these feelings, the pain in my body caused by the anxiety. The exhaustion that I feel from a mind that never seems to stop! I want my life back!
I'm open to any suggestions that anyone may have. I'm headed to see doctor this morning and want to talk to him. Maybe I need more counselling. I don't want meds
Thanks for listening!