Hello dear friends..: I have noticed we... - Anxiety Support

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Hello dear friends..

shadow45 profile image
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I have noticed we haven't heard much from angelofhope lately... Has anyone been in contact with her...much love steve

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shadow45
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Yummimummi profile image
Yummimummi

Good afternoon Steve:}

No I've not heard from her in a while,think i might send her a message to check on her.

How are you doing this morning,did you sleep ok? xx

shadow45 profile image
shadow45 in reply to Yummimummi

Yes I did thanks yummi. I have upped my Paxil to 20 mg which is the proper dose and it helps to make me a little more tired at night. Plus I have started to think more about the positive things in my life as I fall asleep... I have a list I go over now to help with any subconscious feelings that may arise in rem sleep... I have my Xanax which helps me in the mornings .I had a n early appointment today so after I went for breakfast as well.. I do need to start eating more each day. Will have to start thinking of ways to get some happy feelings flowing in my life again I guess I have been feeling sorry for myself. Was exhausted after the weekend from hell. Still unhappy with myself for letting it get so bad... I always seem to be doing things for other people and nothing for myself... So I think I may have been crying out for some attention... as well as professional expertise on what the hell was happening to me..... What I have learned is there is no magic solution to these problems... The meds are working now so I have been able to put my fear of medically induced help.... I have to look at this mental issue much like any other health problem... It's odd how I feel like such a failure being sick with depression.... But if I had Cancer or whatever I would welcome the medical help... Its true that mental issues is a disease that brings with it some shame.... for me because I brought it on myself in so many ways.... Having ignored the symptoms for so long... I have heard the uneducated side of this problem for too long.. IE "well you did it to yourself" or "its your own fault". Much love to you Yummi... steve

Hi Steve

Not posted lately sorry. Been in outpatients yesterday due to a really awful jerking twitching episode which last about two hrs and went on for two days on and off. Head and neck jerked, as well as torso. Just horrendous. Docs non plussed. Sent home with no help and told it was stress!! Have to go for a MRI and a EEG to rule out anything serious. Phoned GP last night as it it came on again and it the conclusion is that it is my antidepressants that have caused this awful episode. I had my dose increased recently. I now have to reduce them. Venflaxine has many side effects and this is one of them.

Went to optician today to get my eyes checked out as it has been affecting them as well. :( the optician is writing to my doctor to tell her to deal with this problem. Trouble is they have been a lifesaver up until now. I'm really scared off coming off them. They are the only thing which keeps everything at bay. I'm hoping I can cope at a lower dose.

Going to the cpn on Tuesday . I have hardly seen her! Feeling really physically unwell too. On plus side mum and dad are paying for a private appt in May with a rhuemtologist. Hoping he can help with my physical problems. Tests for lupus clear but crp levels going up and down a mystery which the rhuemy should be able to help with.

Sorry for the long post xxx

shadow45 profile image
shadow45 in reply to

Hello angel. I do get a little worried when I don't see posts for a while. I do feel in some ways that we do make strong connections with some of the members and with all the issues that they have I did notice a few weeks ago that my eyesight was getting a little blurry and I put it down to my meds as well....But it cleared up Stress can do all manner of things to the brain I understand now that its not just the mind that gets stressed or anxious the whole body suffers in the same way.I did start to worry a little about my heart... when I got into my panic weekend my chest was a tight as a drum.. But my heart seems fine.. blood pressure etc was ok. Yes the physical feeling of illness does creep in... again after the weekend I did feel exhausted... and its hard to separate the feeling of depression and simple tiredness..... Happy that the folks are getting you in to see a specialist sounds... like a very good idea to me. No need to say your sorry about anything I know its a hard thing to do sometimes I felt a little e self conscious asking for help the past few days But I am trying to do this with very little help from family and friends For myself being able to share thoughts and feelings with you and others members is a good way to lift my spirits. Sharing compassion and hope for recovery makes life more rewarding in so many ways ...Much Love steve

in reply to shadow45

Thanks Steve. Still having muscle tightening so have been told by the doc to decrease my antidepressants as this is a known side effect of them. Hopefully this will sort out the problem and I can stay on a lower dose with no more bad side effects. Venflaxine which is the name of my med has been known to cause epileptic fits in some people! So I'm not convinced it is stress but a medication side effect as they are pretty powerful drugs. X.

shadow45 profile image
shadow45 in reply to

Yes the side effects are the main concern with any medication.. Its often one of the most difficult things a GP runs into.... Getting the right meds for each patient.... we all react in different ways.... Its a bit of a crapshoot at times.... It's a learning curve.. unfortunately for us we are the ones who have to suffer the effects of getting the wrong pills or too high a dose..... And we do forget sometimes that your Doctors see many many patients.. So.they have to make judgment calls on an individual basis several times a day... Having a GP that you have seen for a while is better as they have seen the whole pathology of your illness...And then of coarse there is the other issues of how we decide to live our lives in conjunction with the medication we are taking.... We all need to have other organized daily activities to help with the healing process Such as CBT therapy etc....Since I am now just getting used to taking a regular daily dose of two pills one in the morning and one in late afternoon... I also have to enter into a new way of handling my daily thought process as well... I can't just think that the meds are going to fix all my issues ...The great thing about the internet is I can go to videos on CBT... I watched several different ones last night Some are short instructional type and others were full hour sessions with actual patients.... .For me I get a little down thinking that I am broken and need to be fixed. Over my lifetime I have just turned away from certain helpful situations just because I didn't want to deal with it any longer..... Ignoring my issues simple because I didn't have the strength of will to continue with the hard work and uncomfortable feelings that were coming to the surface.....I still get like that now. ...A life time of avoidance is a hard thing to break free from... And is seen in the medical profession as the biggest obstacle to recovery..Just keep in mind angel that you are still in control.. Reducing your dose will help with the side effects and will still help with your depression and anxiety.... Its a balancing act with how we think and how we feel.... As the CBT therapy say..... it s not the thoughts we have it's the relationship to the thoughts ..easy to read but much harder to fully understand. Much LOve to you Angel Hope you have a better day ...steve

in reply to shadow45

Thanks Steve. Xxx

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