Recovering from anxiety disorder

So in 2011 i was diagnosed with anxiety which then triggered depression in later life. I had every symptom imaginable, it started with retching and always gagging on nothing, and as i also have emetophobia (fear of vomit) this panicked me a HUGE amount. I got so bad that i stopped going out in public, i couldn't leave my drive way without having a full on panic attack. I had developed a fear of going outside, fear of eating, fear of everything! I noticed my mood changed dramatically and i was so horrible to people around me, without really meaning to be!

It was because of a result of severe bullying at school, i was still having to attend school at the time and it was just impossible for me to do so. I ended up being just over 6 stone and at this point needed help.

I went to hospital and had CBT and sessions with a psychiatrist. He gave me a food diary, and goals to try and complete. We started small, things like going to a friends house. This was even difficult for me at that point, i couldn't go anywhere out of fear! I would feel sick, faint, dizzy, short of breath, increased heart rate, i couldn't do anything!

I got very depressed at how drastic my life had become. I then got up one day and thought, enough is enough, i started small and did things like visit friends, and went to a tiny pub one evening. It was so hard! and i hated it, but i kept at it.

I took a gap year, there was no way i was ready for uni. In this gap year, i set myself more and more goals, i went out, i said yes to things, i would panic everytime but i noticed the more i did it, the easier it became. I got my first job, i went on a make-up course, i took myself to london for work experience, i visited relatives. Im now at university, i started ballet again, i won my competition and to top it all off? I just came back from taking myself to CANADA. I live in the UK, and i got myself on a plane, and back, and stayed away for 10 days to visit my boyfriend out there. I have come such a long way, and to anyone out there struggling i would love for you to reply, i want to help you! I'm open for any questions to be asked, this is such an overlooked condition that needs more attention brought to it. Respond to my message with any worries or queries and i would love to get back to you! I am an anxiety fighter, i still get panic attacks but now im actually living the life i wanted to live. Please feel free to send me a message or reply to this post!

(It would make my day if you could check out my personal fashion blog, a place i like to go to post to get away from every day life. i haven't posted for a while but sure will soon! Do you think i should post an anxiety story?

2 Replies

  • Loved reading ur post although my goals aren't as big as yours after becoming poorly in Egypt last april on holiday on return bck home to uk I was diagnosed with aniexty I was prescribed fluxotide but had a bad reaction to them which has now cause a fear of medication I got myself a new job October after months off work and thought I was on the road to recovery not gonna lie ive had little slips but ive managed to get thru them until thurs I had the worse slip ended up at emergency doctos thinking meds was the answer ive now been prescribed sertraline but off course not one in my system due to med fear im now not so sure on what to do I feel like im letting my husband and daughter down thry have been my rock I would just like to settle bck down x x x

    thank u for reading

  • Firstly thanks so much for taking the time to read my post!

    I never took medication for my anxiety, i was asked to go on Prozac but i was scared they would make me feel sick as i have a phobia of sick, also, i thought to myself, that medicine isnt going to cure me. It will mask the issue, but it wont solve it, the brain is a powerful thing, and it's making you feel anxious and is also the thing to get you to stop feeling anxious. Anxiety is frustrating, it is you that got yourself into this way of thinking, and has to be you to get yourself recovered. Its hard to accept that all of it is in your mind, especially when the symptoms seem so real!

    You have to trust your doctors, you were clearly allergic to something in the medicine, so they would never prescribe you with medication with similar ingredients as it would risk you reacting again! I know it is sooooo difficult to overcome, but they are both completely different medications.

    One thing to remember is anxiety will never physically harm you, and you won't die! It feels horrible, but its your mind playing tricks on you. You should try to recover yourself without medication and use the meds as a last resort. I've never touched them and i've been ok, its all about reminding yourself that it is simply panic, that is all! Whenever you feel a panic attack coming on, concentrate straight on your breathing, count breaths in and out for 5 seconds, once the breathing is under control, the rest of your body relaxes along with it. You said you were on a good spell before this recent slip, and that was without medication yes? So you can do it, you just have to tell yourself that!

    Do things like sums in your head, count backwards from a high number, spell words backwards in your mind, anything to keep your brain distracted from panic. Show anxiety who is boss, this is your life, don't let it get in the way!

    Anything else you want to ask then feel free :)

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