I can't get one break with this disease. BC of this disease it ruined my relationship. I just want one normal relationship were I don't cause my boyfriend of cheating. My mind just won't shut up. It's like my mind says "oh he's not replying back?" HE MUST BE CHEATING! It's just a cycle. A torturous cycle. I can't get a break. Now my relationship is dead BC I can't fight this monster. If you love someone you should trust them right? Then why is it that I seem to not trust anyone. OCD will never let me find love. I will forever be alone, fat, scared and sad. It got so bad that I cut myself to ease my pain and thoughts. But it didn't work. Now I've been thinking about suicude again but I wkbt do it BC I know it's a sin but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it. I want to be free.