I only admit to having an anxiety disorder when I have to. It's all part and parcel of some other undiagnosed nuisance that's going on with my body. I have an appointment with a rheumatologist mid April, so hopefully will get to the bottom of it.
I've been claiming ESA for the past month as my hands and joints have been playing up, and adding my dizziness and fatigue as well, I'm not really in a good place when it comes to finding a new job. Catch 22! My sick nmote still says anxiety, even though the doc has seen my swollen joints and referred me to rheumy!
So my sick note is due for renewal and I have to go back to the doc on Monday.
Why do I feel so guilty? I feel like the doc will be thinking, 'for heaven's sake!'
There are people who are seriously I'll out there, and I'm wasting his time asking for a sick note. Problem is, the advisor at the job centre can't help much either. I can't bear stressful situations, my elbows are swollen and my grip in my hands is affected. My fingers and thumbs hurt, my hips too, and my knees are swollen. When I stand or walk my upper spine hurts after a short while, and I get dizzy sometimes just walking into the kitchen and nearly always nearly faint when going round the supermarket.
Things make more sense when I've written them down. The doc and the job centre advisor both seem to have more control over my life than I have!
Oh well, I will just have to face the doc on Monday and hope for the best.
I feel such a failure sometimes. Xx