Scary time looming!

I only admit to having an anxiety disorder when I have to. It's all part and parcel of some other undiagnosed nuisance that's going on with my body. I have an appointment with a rheumatologist mid April, so hopefully will get to the bottom of it.

I've been claiming ESA for the past month as my hands and joints have been playing up, and adding my dizziness and fatigue as well, I'm not really in a good place when it comes to finding a new job. Catch 22! My sick nmote still says anxiety, even though the doc has seen my swollen joints and referred me to rheumy!

So my sick note is due for renewal and I have to go back to the doc on Monday.

Why do I feel so guilty? I feel like the doc will be thinking, 'for heaven's sake!'

There are people who are seriously I'll out there, and I'm wasting his time asking for a sick note. Problem is, the advisor at the job centre can't help much either. I can't bear stressful situations, my elbows are swollen and my grip in my hands is affected. My fingers and thumbs hurt, my hips too, and my knees are swollen. When I stand or walk my upper spine hurts after a short while, and I get dizzy sometimes just walking into the kitchen and nearly always nearly faint when going round the supermarket.

Things make more sense when I've written them down. The doc and the job centre advisor both seem to have more control over my life than I have!

Oh well, I will just have to face the doc on Monday and hope for the best.

I feel such a failure sometimes. Xx

4 Replies

  • Good afternoon,

    Please don't think of your self as a failure. That's my role in life.

    I have just been returned to ESA after an extended period on JSA & SSP.

    My adviser at the jobcentre has been very helpful and I'm sure sooner or later they will give you some good advice. Your GP will hopefully add the rheumatism to your sick note on Monday, but also with the new style of note, they can advise what type of work you are able to do. I don't think that they have control over your life but do understand where you are coming from. I also feel guilty, I know I can work, but once again I also know that the health issues I have restrict me in what job I can actually do..

    Take care.


  • HI Waterspace. Not sure why your feeling guilty.. From your description of the issues your body is going through. I am sure your GP will see that you are in need of further rest and medication. Good luck on Monday with the GP Maybe next week the job search will be more productive..Try to relax a little over the weekend.. Steve

  • HI Waster x Please dont feel like a failure, its not your fault that you are suffering in numerous ways. First off its good that you are getting to see someone from the rheum team, they can then get to the bottom of the pains you explain. This can take some doing and you have to be patient but they will get to the bottom of it x I have some experience there as my hubby as rheumatoid arthritis and it is a very intense disease and can make you ill x I think this would add to your anxieties and increase the dizzy spells you mention, but you could also go over it all with your doctor Monday to make sure he fully understands x The job centre are not at liberty to question if you are ill or not, this is down to the doctor and that is why he issues you with the note, to state you re not fit for work at the moment x I hope it all goes well for you, which Im sure it will x DOnver x

  • Thank you all for your kind words and support. I will get there, I know. It's a scary old world. I used to be able to march into any old situation, my philosophy was, whatever you face is soon over, it's just a matter of gritting your teeth for a while. I'll try to remember and stop being a wimp!

    Love to you all.

    Marie xxx

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