Why do bad memories stick.

[hairyfairy]

I was watching "waking the dead" last night, & this story was about a man who was hunting down & killing his fellow soldiers from world war 2 for something that they did to him & his fiancee 60 years ago. It reminded me of the people who treated me badly when I was growing up, & found myself thinking " good for you" for getting revenge, even if it took so many years. I do wonder why people have this tendency to remember bad memories for a lifetime, & yet forget good ones in a very short time.

[Hidden]

Hi.

I would imagine that if is was something really awful that they did it would stick in the memory, but some people are able to hold a grudge for a lifetime no matter how trivial the incident. I too had a lot of bad things happen when I was growing up but I am lucky I can leave them where they happened ( in the past ) .

Take care Kenny xxxxx

[mimii]

Could be because when bad things happen to you it can have a negative impact on your well being which can be long lasting whereas happy things don't make us worried or upset so we dont keep replaying events in our minds to find a solution as we don't need one if that makes any sense !!

Mimii xx

[Hidden]

hi, o/h gets these intrusive, negative thoughts, many from the past when she was younger, things that she is not proud of now, so when she is anxious these thoughts keep coming into her mind, the more she tries not to think of them the more they multiply, so when she feels them coming she puts on a relaxation cd just to take her mind off them. take care. jasper xx

[Hidden]

Hi

I still hold a grudge over someone from about 10 years ago...I try to convince myself to let it go and forget it but I can't for some reason...which has always made me think there is a reason I've not to forget if that makes sense.

Xx

[jules2105]

Hi

I still hold onto memories of being bullied over 20 years ago, the violence they showed towards me made me fear for my life. It has also also knocked my confidence and self esteem.

Jules x

[Hidden]

Hi hairy

Well I'm no expert but the therapy I went through makes so much sense... I will try to explain what I learnt...

When we experience things in our lives that are traumatic our brains can't process it as it's too big for the brain to cope with so the painful memories and thoughts and feelings become stuck in our nervous system and can be triggered by loud noises, smells, voices etc and then the fight/flight response kicks in and we feel like the events from the past are happening to us again.

Through therapy and careful guidance I dealt with some rough stuff and some beautiful memories came back too and I was told the bad stuff blocks the good stuff

Hope this helps and makes sense. I've got tonsilitis and feeling a bit rough

Love eve x

[cherub2012]

When the bad memories start to grind me down I Wright them down on a piece of paper then burn them before I go to bed. when they start to come into my head I tell myself that I burnt these bad experiences YOUR HISTORY. Hope this helps it helps me. Take care xx