I've made a few post's on this quite a while ago as I believe I have a pretty severe case of an Anxiety Disorder.. mainly health-wise. Only reason I haven't made any recently, is because everything's been JUST OK enough not to make a post! I've still been reading other people's post though.. always nice to have a small reminder that I'm not alone.
The reason I've decided to make a post now, is due to the fact that.. pretty much every little niggle and sensation I've been experiencing in my body in the the last 3-4 weeks - (how ever normal they may be) has been 'self-diagnosed' by myself as some kind of.. 'deadly disease'! For example, I've been checking my neck lately - on purpose - to check for lumps.. and if I feel a slight lump or ANYTHING (for that matter),.. then it would only be a matter of minutes before my palms are sweaty, I'm in a slight daze, and my leg's feel warm, fuzzy & weak, and the whole of my life has come to a halt due to the fact that.. ".. this lump could be the sign of a deadly disease resulting in my death at a young age.. ".. which then develops into the rest of the day with me portraying what my funeral would be like and what reaction my family would give when they find out I've died. On top of all that, any future aspiration's for myself have frozen and i'm in so much belief that I'm SURE I'm going to be dead within 6-12 months, that it's led me down a every quick road to depressing feelings!
Now, you may just be thinking now - .. "All that?! Because of a slight lump??... - that you THINK you'd found?!.. ON PURPOSE?" ..
If it wasn't my neck, it was my chest, .. or my head, or even my arm's, or legs.. or anything on my body.. the list is endless .. until I've checked every part of my body.. for ANY signs of deadly diseases. Purposely LOOKING for it.
Well, just to assure you.. 100% of the time, it has been nothing - suprise surpise!
About 2 months ago, I began to get pains in my stomach and different bowel movements.. (diarrhea, constipation etc..), and it didn't seem to stop... So, - what with all these warning signs everywhere these days - "If you have had a change in bowel movements for over 2 weeks, go see your GP...", I began to believe that I had 'Bowel Cancer'.. So, after I discussed with my brother about my symptoms, he pretty much told me that It was just due to a change in my life-style (change of jobs, and diet).. to which - to me - sounded plausible! So, I just continued to see this pain out.. and then.. few weeks later.. I found blood in my stool.. And as soon as I saw it, I had a full blown panic attack. Probably the worst panic attack to date, nearly fainted. So, I had no choice but to go to the doctor's then, in which he booked me for that test where (they put a camera up your backside!!) - In which, I could not think of anything worse! So, a couple of days prior to the date I was booked in for, I cancelled. The reason I cancelled, is because the amount of anxiety that I was going through due to the fact that I knew what I had to go through this test, was unbearable.
Anyway, I haven't had any more blood in my stool since that one-off occasion. But my stomach is still fairly bad, and I seem to be doing nothing but burping (for some reason??!). Going the Doctor's again soon and I'm going to edge the appointment more towards my Health Anxiety Disorder over the stomach issue. Because - looking back at evidence - I've believed I've had every serious illness in the book! So, why should this be the real deal!? I'd probably just go the for test, get told I'm fine and a few more months down the line, I'd be back the Doctor's with some other kind of illness with my heart or brain or something!!!
So, if there is anybody else out there who suffer's from the kind of.. Health Anxiety that I do... then throw a comment on this post. It would be nice to hear other people's Anxiety issues so we can assure each other that we are not going to die and that we are fine!!!!! Haha!!
Regards,
GlobalJ3
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GlobalJ3
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First of all I wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I've come across loads of people on here going through the same thing, and it's called Health Anxiety, it was called Hypochrondia but they changed the name because of the negative connotations and (wrongly) implications of blame - whereas Health Anxiety can be considered as a disorder and has less stigma attached to it.
First of all we need to look at why you keep checking for symptoms. I'm wondering if, initially, you do it as way to reassure yourself to check that there is nothing wrong, but because of the doubt that there could be, it seems to go checking yourself almost expecting to find something, and this expectation is so strong that you imagine an abnormality of perceive normal sensations in the body as being abnormal, just to fulfil this expectation. In other words, it's almost as if you're setting yourself up for anxiety whenever you check for symptoms. But you've got so much into the habit of doing it that you can't stop yourself? How am I doing?
Now about your blood in your stools. Just because you have this doesn't necessarily mean there is anything seriously wrong. My dad found blood in his stool and was incredibly morbid one Christmas even though it turned to be nothing. However, it is a little strange. Try not to panic though - first of all - the warnings aren't there to scare people, but to help people. You must have heard them saying 'it's probably nothing serious'? They persuade people to go to the GP so they can rule out cancer, rather than dx it. Furthermore, even if it WAS cancer - that doesn't have the same meaning anymore, (I wouldn't be surprise if people were more afraid of the word than the thing itself again, because of connotations), it's not a death sentence like it used to be. It's incredibly common, affecting one in three people, most of whom beat it now and are back normal within a few weeks or months. The only time it becomes a concern is when people have had it ages, because they haven't checked out their symptoms. That's why the warnings are out there, because, so people can get dx quickly and something can be done to fix it.
I know it isn't pleasant, and I know much it's worrying you. But please arrange to go back with them, get a loved one to go with you, like your brother? Be honest about your anxiety - don't hold back - and they'll do whatever they can to help you to feel at ease. Try to visualise how proud of yourself you'll be when this is sorted - and once it it is - we can have a look at the bigger problem of Health Anxiety.
Yea mines get real bad at night wen i try to relax heart raceing both arms hurting mind raceing i like to take hot shower and drink hot coco it helps me sleep
Well your not alone , i started off as just simple anxiety panic disorder then I went from that too social I couldn't be around cites or go far away from my house and it got so bad too the point I couldn't eat and sleep and it just messed up my whole body I stopped hanging out with friends and stopped working out I stopped playing video games all I did was watch netflix and thought I was dying I broke down and cried too my girlfriend and it made me feel somewhat better but I soon got back on my feet and started hanging out with friends and got back into the gym.
But maybe about 4 months ago I started worrying about my health at first it was my heart and I was scared i had some type of heart disease cause my chest was constantly hurting every night till the point where i could not move and It would feel like someone was grabbing my heart and squeezing it, i ended up going too my GP and she told me I might have a enlarged heart that freaked me out I damn near fainted in the doctors office but I got myself together and we ended doing 2 EKGS and it was fine but my GP shouldn't have told me I could of had an enlarged heart cause she knew I had anxiety but anyways she sent me too a cardiologist and I did this ultrasound and everything came back fine and ever since then I don't have pain in my chest cause i know now nothing is wrong with my heart and plus I'm only 19 years old.
but now I m freaking out about my side this pain has been here for several months and I keep burping, maybe about 40 times a day or more and my doctor told me it could be inflammation or gas, gastritis and I looked up gastritis on google (WRONG THING TO DO!!!) I it said it can cause stomach cancer so I panic and got depressed and told myself I had cancer, and I ended up going back too my doctor and she gave me these pills for acid reflux and gas so I've been taking it and I'm hoping it solves the problem with the pain so I'm not freaking out about it cause she told me i don't have cancer but I'm not helping my side if I'm not doing what i need to do too treat it I had the pills for about a month and i just started them yesterday i feel like an idiot but i was afraid of side effects and i hate taking pills , I'm currently on paxil and it helps me a lot but I don't like taking pills.
Right now I'm feeling kinda anxious and nauseated and head hurts and I got too take blood tomorrow for bacteria in my stomach i hope everything comes back fine, all the tests I've done so far was good and this is just too clear my conscience, but your not alone sometimes i feel like I'm the only one but its all in our heads I think its because we refuse to believe its anxiety that makes us get these symptoms and we end believing the doctors aren't finding whats really "wrong with us" so we tend to say we have a terminal illness and google every symptom in the book, but we have too stay mentally strong and believe we are okay cause we are, we can beat this its just a matter of reprogramming our brain everyday and every night, its tough believe me I've been going through it for about 2 years but im still fighting I'm almost back too normal and i know we can all beat this so called thing called anxiety.
You post could be mine! I have severe health anxiety.
Just last Saturday as I was rubbing shaving foam on my neck I thought I felt a lump on the right side and off I went poking prodding and shoving my fingers deep in my neck whilst shaking and sweating. After an hour and a very sore neck I discovered I had exactly the same lump (muscle/tendon) the other side.
That's just a random example of ALL the things I've been scared of over the last few years.
A good dose of Dr Google thrown in and I'm in a wild panic.
Blood when you go to the loo - yeah been there done that! More than once. Without being crude I would say what you put in you get out so nice deep red fried peppers or tomatoes can (and have) caused me much anguish when spotted the next day!
I went to the doctor the first time and she (yes it would have to be a she wouldn't it) said a once off bleed - nothing to worry about - probably a burst blood vessel or pile. She had a poke around (embarrassing) and found nothing.
I can't offer advice except to say I'm just like you and on 'red alert' checking myself and bodily functions on a daily basis with a fear of something showing up.
This is a most destructive condition, it has stolen years from me!! My Grand mother, Mother and brother had/have it often I have been written off as a hypochondriac a depressive etc but it is only the last few years that i have been labeled as suffering from acute anxiety. Have been on paxel for about 20 yrs and to start it helped but then started to loose effect upping the dose brought on terrible side effects I am at this time taking 20mgs daily and betteablockers!! I am starting counseling on 17th but I know my brother found it did not help !!,I will give it all I
can, I so hate this dreadful feeling" I am ill I am going to die" I think of you all who have this condition and so wish there was an answer!!
Hi
Sounds like your anxiety is defiantly focusing on your health , which when I started with anxiety some years ago mine did to resulting in me suffering with HA for years & even though it is a lot better than it used to be it can still rear its head so I can feel & understand your fear !
I relate to checking over your body & when we check so much we are always going to think we have found something different that wasn't there before & it becomes a cycle that creates fear which results in more anxiety !
I can understand finding blood in your stools sending your anxiety over the top would me & has done in the past but the chances are it is nothing even though only your GP can clarify that as I am not medically trained my answer is based on my own experience only
Doctors do send you for this procedure though now a days & I have had it done myself , I personally think its to just double check before they start treating you
I think for me it was more the embarrassment that I found off putting but I still went & it wast bad at all & the peace of mind after was well worth it !
You sound like you could be suffering with IBS which is very common with people with anxiety but your GP maybe reluctant to treat you till you have had this procedure done
I personally would go & then this is one less thing you have to worry about because even though there has been no more blood , I bet you are always looking , I know I would be
The worse thing any of us can do is Google especially if we have HA
When I joined this site I was always Googling , then a few of us said we would start a non Googling ban & come on here rather than Google , I have done that ever since & it has been a lot better talking to others that know how I feel than looking at Google as it will list every worse possible scenario & I will focus in on the worse one & think I have it !
I hope you go back to your GP have this procedure done & then you can look at discussing with them the best way to deal with your anxiety
Come on here & join in the posts or do a post if you feel the urge & join the non Googling Ban , it works & you don't end up with more symptoms than you came on with
I read here a lot,and always good to know one is not alone!!! Thanks x
GlobalJ3..Hi There. why why is so right...stay off google! I went to my GP last year and announced (very dramatically, I might add) that "I was definitely dying..." And then I listed all the areas I was mega concerned about before sitting very still and weeping (!) and at the same time telling him he " had no idea what it felt like to be waiting to have a heart attack (or cancer) and to know death was coming any second" and at that point I could have faded away right there and then, He (the GP) blew a raspberry and said, "How long did it take you to get your medical degree...or are you getting it through google?" That shut my crying up lickety spit but the slap - and his discussing some of my symptoms with me, reminded me (sadly) that my anxiety disorder had kicked in again and that I'd travelled the road I usually turned to when it's 'having a go'...to visit google and self diagnose, thus feeding anxiety with it's loved diet of scaremongering...it knows when it's get such a diet that it can act up 24/7 and send us into a flat tailspin...so, my friend, stay off google and perhaps consider re-booking the horrid appointment (just to ease your mind, if nothing else) and perhaps check in again with your GP and have an honest chat with him/her about how anxiety is affecting you. You are not alone, although it's lonely...there's plenty out there to help you help yourself...we are all testament to that fact. thinking of you and hope you feel calmer soon. Love PD7979
I was very much like you, worry about every little thing.
Convinced I had a deadly disease,then I found this site and boy am I glad I found it.
I've "met" some wonderful people a couple who hold dear to me
I am doing cbt at the moment,2nd session was talking about my h/a. She told me to ask myself "is it fact or is it my opinion"? Now when ever I start to panic I remember this It does make you think differently
I do use a good website called "headspace" check it out it could help you out. X
Thank you so much for replying to this post with your support. It has made me feel a LOT better! It's just so strange the way there is so many people out there who suffer with Anxiety Disorder's and have nobody else to speak to because people who have not had any Anxiety-related disorder's just don't understand! I couldn't tell you the amount of times people have told me to just "Stop being a drama-queen!" or "Your fine, stop worrying!" .. It's just not that simple in our cases!!
Anyway, I've been the doctor's today and I'm going to go for my hospital appointment in a month's time.. Wish me luck that IT IS all in 'my head'! However, as soon as this is all over - 'hopefully' -, regardless of the outcome, I think counselling may be the best port of call, because .. - again -, if it isn't my stomach, it would be my heart.. or my brain.. and I'd end up diagnosing myself with some other bizarre disease! So, counselling may be a wise idea.
Again, thank you everybody for all your support, I hope we are all progressing and getting stronger.. Keep the post's coming we can all help each other.
Hi Globalj..we WILL all be thinking of you I can assure you. Most all of us have known, in the same circumstances, that we are being thought about too by many folks on this very site. Good Luck with the appointment (just know that within about twenty minutes, on the day, it will be done and dusted and over) and then, at some point the counselling will really, really help give your body a rest whilst. "IT" lets you know and understand what it has been trying so hard to tell you and when you hear it's message the anxiety will slink away ... It'll try and sneak back but by then you will have some tools to shove it out of the way a little easier! Love PD7979
I am right there with you!! I panick if I feel like anything is different I'm my body! You described that moment of panic so well! You aren't alone. I have it so bad and i don't know what to do! :(. All I can say is I understand!!
Your reply has popped up on my emails today. I thought it'd be nice for me to let you know - that.. over the last year (since I posted this initial post) - My anxiety.. has gone. Its completely disappeared. I've never been happier.
And I've found the key to it. Well - it was key for me. And I hope this advice will help you. I really want to help others with Anxiety disorders because I know what its like! People who have never suffered with an anxiety will NEVER understand. Its a really strange disorder.
The key for me - was to.. Stay Active, Keep Occupied & Distract your mind from Anxiety with productivity!!!
Don't try and trick your mind to stop thinking about it. Just keep yourself busy! I got a brand new job and its been challenging. But - whilst challenging, its helped me A LOT.
It does stop eventually. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just relax and allow your mind to do its own thing.... but meanwhile - STAY ACTIVE.
You literally to a t just described EVERYTHING that I've been going through even down to the blood in stool. It is a horrible feeling for sure. Glad to know I'm not the only one going through all this.
I have bad health anxiety as well. I am trying very hard to just not feed into my symptoms at the moment. I am trying not to seek reassurance. I feel fairly awful with anxiety and I am scared I am overlooking the real deal of something wrong. But I keep telling myself if I don't try something different I am never going to get over my health anxiety. I am depressed and exhausted living every day thinking I am dying, the unknowns of life scare me to the point of not experiencing any joy unless I have convinced myself that everyone in my family is healthy. I think what you are going is brave. Constipation can cause bleeding. Pain in your upper stomach wouldn't present with bright red blood, it turns black when it hits your stomach acid. Obviously bowel problems can have bleeding, but si can hemmroids and everything else. It is hard to challenge the health anxiety when it has started with real symptom. I have become so anxious of doctors and afraid the answer will lead me to more uncertainty that I hate going. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
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