December!

December!

Hi Everyone..Don't guess I am the only one whose anxiety goes off the scale when this month hits the calender! For me it is awful..I lost each member of my family to cancer...each loved one leaving in December (my beloved patents one week before Christmas and on Boxing Day) and now I am ill and awaiting test results...the waiting for something to happen in the NHS is unreal...even an urgent referral for me is over a week wait and for me feels like a year! I already can barely cope with anxiety and stress and this feels like torture. Have no one else to talk to so that is why I am writing here...just to offload a bit whilst a panic attack abates a bit...they come in waves day and night and I feel heartily sorry for all of us who suffer these horrors! Unless a person has experienced what it actually feels like they can't imagine how next to impossible it is to sit in crowded, hot waiting rooms in hospitals waiting our turn to see specialists, who usually run hours late ..or how dire it is to be alone with a zillion worrying thoughts at nighttime. All I want to do is flee for my life...which only compounds the length of the attack! I feel sorry for us all .

6 Replies

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  • Hello & Welcome

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss & I can imagine how painful this time of the year must feel :-(

    There are so many members been suffering from the same kind of difficulties as you have described & I am sure when they see your post they will give you some great support :-)

    I lost my Mum in October 10 years ago now & still at Christmas I find tears coming, along with memories , but they do turn into happy memories & I now believe even though they are no longer here they still live on in our hearts & thoughts

    It does get easier , but takes time

    Sounds like you are going through a tough time with your own health & there is nothing worse when you have anxiety & the NHS do keep you waiting !

    I hope you get your results soon & its good news , try & take it a day at a time , I no it isn't easy , but it does help us to get through when we feel we cant cope

    Keep talking on here , people do understand & as well as support & others sharing how they cope , there is always someone that cares & even though we may not always have the answers , we are very good at listening :-)

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Thank you why why... I so appreciate your kind and gentle words.

  • Hi there, I agree can be a hard time of year, my Dad had heart attack and died on 23rd December, long time ago now but Christmas wasn't something we looked forward to for years, ppl always say time heals but it does, now I remember happy times we had and can look back with fond memories :)

    Hope you get the test results soon and don't have to wait too long xx

    Mimii xx

  • Thank You Mimi..I am sure that when December rolls around you must re-experience a ton of emotion too as you remember your Dad. How sad that he had to leave , probably unexpectedly as well. I do recall my folks too with lots of love...just tinged with lots of longing and sadness too but you are right, time does heal and the rawness isn't so raw now. I shall look toward the rest of this month and just hope all my appointments hurry up and I can get my anxiety back on track!

    Love PD x

  • Hi Bev, Thank You for your reply. How kind everyone is. You will be in my thoughts this Christmas too. I am so sorry to hear the loss of your Mum...it is so hard isn't it. I also understand how stressful booking tickets and long journeys are too.I can't do them either...maybe one day for both of us ay? You are in my thoughts and I appreciate how this month is so hard for you too. Roll on Spring ay?!

    Love PD

  • Hi and welcome

    I am very sorry to hear of all your losses.

    Why why has already given you some wise words.

    We are here for you xxx

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