What can I do to help my hubby?: My hubby... - Anxiety Support

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What can I do to help my hubby?

pollyjj profile image

My hubby suddenly lost his sight overnight in May, (he also has osteoporiasis so walks with a frame) since then he has been having anxiety or panic attacks not sure which, he has been taking lorazapam but they were not working well so the doctor gave him diazapam, he took one last night and it was the worst night ever he never got to bed just paced all night. The doc is coming out to see him on Thursday but in the meantime I was looking on the web to see how he could help himself it seems mostly exercise, which he can't do or writing everything down which he also can't do. What can I do to help him help himself.

I have not been on here before so don't know if you can help.

8 Replies

Hi Pollyjj

So sorry to hear about your husband, what an awful situation for you both............. Im not quite sure if this will be any help but when I have panic attacks the diazepam works really well for me, but depends how much you take.... Not sure what milligram your doc gave you but just wondering if it wasn't enough........... I have t take at least 5mg if Im bad.... Perhaps you could call your doc today for some advice and help over the phone today...........

My heart goes out to you.............

I hope you find some relief soon

Love Ker xx

ps............ only a thought but maybe try and get hinm to relax, I know that's hard when in panic..... But what about creating a nice atmosphere, ie if you have some Lavender essential oil burn that, If you can go onto calm.com which is an audio relaxation exercise and perhaps lay him on the back and give him a relaxing back massage??

I hope this may helf


Thank you anne64 for those suggestions I will have a look on calm.com. Just for the moment he is still he is sat in the garden listening to his radio. I feel if I don't do something soon I will go the same way. I have to go out this afternoon and as much as I don't like leaving him I am actually looking forward to being out of the house that sounds so bad.

in reply to pollyjj

No its not bad, you have to look after yourself too............ take care and let us know how you are getting on, keep blogging on here , it will help get things off your chest xx

Without the diagnosis it is difficult all I can suggest is the medications will need time to work, something in the region of three / four weeks. How long was He on LORAZAPAM

Contraindications can be seen that mimic the condition for the same length of time, although they will not be as bad when He gets used to them.

Has your husband been seen by the CPN or occupational therapist , since He lost his sight, some modifications to your property may be available for him getting around.

Speech recognishion may be available so that He can use the computer, and colour used so to assist in Him getting around the house, if He has only lost part of His sight.

There may be courses with the NHS to assist Him with His now restricted lif, like a blind dog etc.

You will need to discus this with your GP as if your Husband can get around in a restricted fashion this will most probably lift his mood and not panic as much

I hope this helps, you really need to discuss with the doctor points of concern and the assistance that you husband needs to now fulfil his life choices

We are waiting for another appointment at the hospital, he has very little sight but they are going to experiment with some form of magnification, that is a lot of his problem not being able to do things. We have been waiting since May for the RNIB to come and assess him and we were told by social service he was of 'low need' so no help there, it makes me sick we are both retired and have both worked all of our lives and get nothing back when we need it.

Thank you for your comments I will take them all on board.

What caused him to lose his sight so suddenly, can the doctors do anything?

Hi Pollyjj,

Your husband must be feeling afraid and insecure at the moment, as perhaps you are . I am surprised at Social Services underestimating your husbands medical needs and your need of support. Sounds so unfair and unjust.

I would see my MLA if I were you and get them to take up your case and be a voice for both you and your husband. Thats what politicans are there for.

May I suggest that you help relieve any anxiety from your husband and yourself by listening to relaxation music , it is great therapy. ; stretches and deep breathing aid the release of tension and stress. Imagine you are in a lovely place..ie sunny beach with clear blue skies etc...before you know it sleep comes creeping upon you. Ah Bliss!

Body massage is another good relaxer which helps release tension in the muscles and relaxes the brain.

Listening and touch your husband has not lost and this can be a great comfort to him knowing that you are there for him at this time in his life and he also can return the favour to you this will help him feel enpowered and you very relaxed.

I wish you both the very best. You will be in my prayers.

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