Admission need to be heard. :(

[4nxietiousSam]

okay so this is the first time i've summed this all up but i think i need to, even if i cannot get any advise i need to face it myself. so i have severe OCD my hole life is based around doing things in a specific way even if i don't want to. i have to hang my clothes up in a wardrobe color coordinated i DO NOT let anybody hang anything up, the first color clothing i pick up that's what color i wash, on payday i do not but what i want i buy whatever is next to what other people are buying even if i don't want or like it, i get up in the morning and i do the exact same thing every single day unless i have to be some where for an appointment then i do that then come home and carry on with my routine, if i find something else to do i fit it in somewhere then do that everyday in the future... there's alot more but i cannot think of them right now but i need help but don't know where to find it i litterally want to cry now that i've come to terms with it but i don't like breaking my routine or it sets off a panic attack and i get very very deppressed... HELP ME!

[Hidden]

Hi sam, wow that is some serious ocd!! and i used to be just like that, its the one part of my life im getting under control the anxiety is next on my list as then i may be able to actually get out of my house. We all do these routines as its what we feel makes us feel better, and the slightest change means something is wrong. I was a sod for having curtains level, towels folded in certain way, even down to if the wheels on my baby's pushchair where wearing down. Routine was important. Things needed to be done in orders and if the order was broke the day was broke. Then one day I missed routine, ( reason unimportant u have enough stress lol ) and it then dawned on me you know what i missed my routine and nothing bad happened. What if tomorrow i miss something else from it, and then another and another. You say yourself that sometimes you have to change your routine to go to a app, so think of every day being a small appointment with yourself to stop one ocd thing. Or maybe try it in reverse small changes make the biggest change x Donver x

[Blorengia]

We hear your admission, Sam. You've been very honest - It takes a lot of courage to tell it like it is.

I haven't suffered from OCD but I can see how it is making your life very complicated and difficult. Have you talked to anyone else about it yet? Your family or friends? You do need help to break free from it and others who've been through it will be able to give you thoughts on the ways you can start to get better. Keep talking about it on here - I hope that will help to release some of the tension and worry for you.

[Hidden]

Sam

Sounds like you have OCD through your anxiety

I have suffered with it for years & it is anxiety that triggers it of

I have to have everything put back on the same hanger it came of , back in the same place in the wardrobe where it came from

If I have have piles of clothes folded , I have to remember where in the pile it came from , if not it causes me extreme distress

When buying something , I have to always have the one from the back as I feel no one else will have touched it , even then if its clothing , even when its new it has to be washed as the thoughts someone else may have tried it on sends my anxiety through the roof

I have to have pegs matching on the line , that used to be they had to be certain colors matching , I found a way round it in the end & bought all the same colors

My routine is so strict , that when I go out , which isnt very often as OCD has over the years tied me to the house , I never enjoy myself as I am always thinking about my routine & what I should be doing at home

This can get better , its slow though

I would ask for some counselling , to help you to deal with this

Mean while , if you could take one small thing , & say I wont do that & you do have to talk yourself out of it , but when you realize it doesnt make a difference that you didnt do it & nothing bad will happen , it gets easier

I still have a long way to go with this one , but you are young , dont let it take over your life like it has mine , it starts to become a part of you , get the help now , I so wished I had

If you decide to drop one thing of , come on here , tell us what it is & we will try & support & encourage you

You are not on your own

Love

whywhy

xxx

[4nxietiousSam]

so i didn't do any of my routine today i had a me day and i feel so shitty, i feel i've wasted a day and it's causing me complete distress so i'm starting my routine very late i'll be up all night to get through this one.