When someone random compliments me I think... - Anxiety Support

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When someone random compliments me I think they're lying all the time...

minion77 profile image
12 Replies

whenever I see people I either know or family friends, they always compliment me on my hair or my outfit or something. I can't say 'thank you' back to them though as I feel that way I'm accepting it, and I can't do that. What I want to know is why do I constantly feel ugly, and nasty when people compliment me so much? Obviously when it's my mum or family, I know she's just saying that cause I'm her daughter, but even other people who I hardly know, they say it to me and still I feel their lying to my face.

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minion77 profile image
minion77
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12 Replies

I think it is due to lack of confidence. I am sure people wouldn't say it if they didn't mean it. Look after yourself

Hi

I am just the same & yes I think it could be due to the anxiety which then we have a lack of confidence

I also cringe at compliments & it actually makes me want to run a mile

I find myself either ignoring what has been said if i can or making a joke of it

Also I have noticed if someone says they love me , I will always come up with a reason why they do , for example , if son says i love you , I will say well yes , its because I wash your clothes etc

Yet I love paying other people compliments & love to love

Its something I have to work on been like it for years , lack of self worth which I think this illness can bring as well

Also I dont no if any one else does this , but if someone likes what I am wearing , I will justify , how come I have it , how much it cost ?

Maybe we should start & try & just say thank you , even if we believe it or not & hope the believe will follow later the more we practice

Love

whywhy

xxx

formidible profile image
formidible

Low self-esteem is a common symptom of depression and anxiety. Do you feel depressed or anxious? I can assure you that the vast majority of people will not lie when it come to making a compliment but I can understand your reaction if you are suffering.

I understand where you are coming from minion and I very much emphasise with the way you feel as I feel the same. . I generally just make a joke but I have learned to say thank you because it's easier and it all ends quicker. But I will say why would someone, especially someone you hardly know, bother to compliment you if they didn't mean it? Why would they bother lying? What would be the point? No matter how you feel on the inside you obviously look very good on the outside. Now you need to work on your inside. That's the hard bit! You are not alone.

Bev x

thomson1898 profile image
thomson1898

Hi minion

I think lots of us feel the same when complimented.

I was on a course a while back & for some reason they started discussing this. I think we may have been talking abut being kind to ourselves, being positive etc.

Next day the course leader complimented me, I said thank you but started explaining why I was dressed that way. I was told to stop, just take the compliment. Accept that someone thinks that & accept that I deserve a compliment as much as anyone else.

We had to practice, it was so hard just to smile & say thank you but now I manage it.

Try it sometime, it may not be as difficult as you think! ;-)

Take care

x

I get totally embarrassed when I get a compliment, also I prefer to give presents than to receive them. I think it is all linked

LadySaabra profile image
LadySaabra

Hello minion

I too question why I can't take credit for anything...I have a lovely husband, 3 fantastic children and have just completed my degree - I am pleased with all these things but if anyone else tries to give me credit for these things I always think that it is pity for my disadvantaged background - even if the person don't know anything about that :(

hope there is an answer for this - though self-esteem sounds viable, I am also very capable of putting myself forward and stepping up - still low self-esteem? thoughts?

good luck

sam

I have always felt this way. :(

I'm the same, my counsellor at the mo is trying to help me build my confidence. I always think people are just being kind or nice. I don't believe them I cannot even say to myself that you are looking good or well done you did a great job. I always think it could be better.

I know this doesn't help you, it is a lack of self confidence and self esteem.

Take care xxx

minion77 profile image
minion77

Thank you all so much for your kind words, and it's nice to know I'm not alone on this! Wish I could take it away for all of us because it's such a horrible feeling. Good luck to you all as well! Xx

Bigguy profile image
Bigguy

What you on about your all beautiful warm and lovely and that's that so there apart from me no I'm not fishing here

I understand totally to be honest

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