My husband hates me

Why dnt he understand me he clearly hates me as he wont talk to and hasn't since yesterday and all becuz I was up set and crying yesterday he said he is sick of me I wouldnt mind but normally I keep my feelings to myself and often cry when he isnt about but yesterday was a bad day I just couldnt help myelf my anxiety has been building up for about a week and yesterday I had to let it out now he has made me feel worthless I just don't want to be here anymore

13 Replies

  • H Marie

    Did you manage to make that appointment to see the GP today , I do hope you did

    I think from what you are saying your hubby seems to be sounding like a bit of a bully insensitive & certainly not very supportive

    On the other hand , lots of men cant cope with female emotions , they don't no what to say & they come out with the most stupid things , out of frustration ,& sometimes I havnt a clue some of the things they say why they do , & he may have some of his own growing up to do

    One thing I do no is , that you really need to see your GP , get some help , start feeling better in yourself & when you do , which you will , then if hubby still is an arse hole , you can make your mind up what you want to do , but its best when your mind is in a better place , as you may see things differently

    Ignore him the best you can , tell him , if he cant say anything nice & show you respect , then to say nothing at all , as you don't need it at this moment

    Look after you




  • I truly know how you feel. & don't want to live anymore. I'm sick of the fake b.s.ers who say they know how we feel. We have suffered more than can be typed & they do not get how serious the not wanting to be a burden is. Fuck the b.s.. where's the real advice?

  • Hi Marie

    Welcome to the site I have read your other posts and can see you've had some great advice already. My husband found my illness very difficult to understand and whether it was out of ignorance or frustration he said some horrible things. It came to a head with a really unhelpful comment one day... So I printed information off for him on anxiety/depression and gave it to him. I said he needed to read it and understand how ill I was and support me by taking the pressure off with the kids. We agreed a code word which meant I had an hour without being hassled by him or the kids. You HAVE to take some time out. I used the time to have a bath or scribble down in a diary how I was feeling.

    Please make a doctors appointment and ask for counselling/therapy and maybe a change of meducation. I don't know exactly how you are feeling but I have been in a very dark place and thought I wouldn't get better. I am in a good place now but it took a med change, therapy and learning to make time for myself. I have small kids too and I know it's hard but even an hour makes a difference.

    You can get better and you won't feel like this forever but you do need support take care love eve x

  • Hi whywhy and eve I've been the doctors today going back to see the pyhchologist on the 9th of July my mom came with mefor surpport x but as for my husband he basically isn't interested I've explained my illness to him and so has the doctor he just said he don't believe in depresstion and to talk to some who does I have tried to stay strong and hide it from him but yesterday I couldn't help myself and now he won't talk to me and off he went to play sooner with his mates my mom is so angry with him it's unreal :( xxx

  • Well done Marie , that's a real positive start & to get to see a psychologist that quick is brilliant , I have been waiting since January & still havnt got an appointment , so you are lucky to get one so soon

    And good Mum coming with you for support , try & focus on that as a positive , your Mum was there for you

    Did you get your blood test results as well , as I no that was worrying you

    Eve gave you some good advice , is there any chance you could get some time for yourself so you can do something for you , maybe your Mum would take the kids now & again , so you could have a little break

    My first husband was one of those men , that couldn't understand this kind of illness , he saw it as a weakness & felt you could pull yourself out of it , now he is an ex lol

    Some men are this way , I no I couldn't cope with it , but like I have said , put him on hold for now & just concentrate on you

    He has made it clear he doesn't want to talk about this & I am sorry I do think he is an arse hole , but , you now have made a very big step & if you work with the psychologist & with the help of this site , well you wont need him to talk to even though I no his support would be nice

    You will feel angry , it is an insult , I can understand that feeling as I say , men can be insensitive , but try & push it to one side

    Once you start this treatment , you will get stronger & like others will be able to cope so much better than you feel now

    Well done again for taking such a big step & asking for help

    We are proud of you


  • Thank you whywhy I've spoke to the doctor about bloods he said the chance of having hiv is slim but he wants me to think about getting tested as for cancer he said no signs of either and all my bloods were normal bk in oct u are also rite about my husband I just can't think about him at the mo although it hurts to think he is so cold towards me I need to sort myself out my mum also thinks mybe I should section myself as I'm very run down and always crying what do u think xxx

  • Hi Marie, apologies for just butting in. Is there any chance of staying at your mums. It seems to me you need some time out away from hubby and a good night sleep. Being in the house with the whole situation will just be adding to it. Big big hugs ( ps I know it is not a simple as that so please don,t think I am saying a good nights sleep will sort it out as we all know in here it is not that simple but the problem is some people do and it only adds to our situation) . I,m lucky my husband is more understanding built I bought some books for him to read to help him understand a little more but he won't read them!!

  • Hi Isobel ur not butting in far from it Hun the more advice the better thank you and yes I do need to time away from everything not just the hubby I do need a gd nights sleep I agree with u there as my thoughts run while before I sleep which courses me to have broken sleep and bad dreams but I don't think going to my mums will help me as my mums house is just as busy as mine I feel as though I'm cracking up even thoughts of just popping aload of pills and giving everyone a break is at the forefront of my brain at the moment but I'm not brave enough I'm a coward I just feel like a robot if that makes any sence to anyone my husband only seems to like me when I'm happy a d I'm afraid I'm not happy this is as low as I've been seen before Xmas I can feel the anxiety and panic build over the weeks I clean to keep busy and it works to but now I've hit the rock bottom place again and feel so helpless it's unreal my mum is amazing we talk for hours I cry she crys and in the mean time I'm just plodding along it feels like there Are two parts of my brain fighting with each other at all times the sane part tells me I'm fine and then the other well u can imagine wins pretty much most of the time I Woke Up panicking first thing this morning I don't know how much more I can take of this I'm so sorry if I'm going on forgive me xxxx

  • Marie you are not going on my love you are not well. I totally get the robot feeling I have been there. You need to concentrate on yourself and switch off from him at the moment. Did your doctor do anything with your meds? It worries me that you are not sleeping as it makes it hard to think clearly when we are exhausted. Keep talking on here. Keep your therapy appointment and open up as much as you can. You can get through this and then when you are in a better place you can decide what to do with your relationship. Right now YOU are the most important person. Keep talking to your mum, keep your therapy appointment and instead of cleaning do something for you. Go for a walk and look at what's around you. Don't look down look up and take some slow breaths. Big hugs x

  • Hi Marie, how are things. Believe me getting a good nights sleep is not easy. Your mind always goes into overdrive. 4.00am seems a normal time sometimes. How are things today thinking of you and definitely not going on at all as here at least people understand what you are feeling. Just hope you are ok and big big hugs. So you know people are thinking of you wherever you are I x

  • Morning Isobel I ok today thank you so much or asking how are u today xxx

  • Fuck the gp b.s. that's never helped. That's why I asked for some real advice. All these fuck faces keep playing us for fools. When the reality is they have no idea how we really feel. They want pity from us who are truly suffering. And where is the real advice on how to finish the job so we're not vegetables. Or burdens on our families?

  • It's a long while since your post but then I have only just joined the Group.

    I was reading your post and I have felt lost,unloved as my husband ( heartless and cruel)

    Person towards me. A sad film,seeing any other person at home and many more things put a tear in his eye,when he finds me crying he says oh no not again,what is it about now. If I start to tell him he walks away and shouts I'm not listening.

    Or I will open my heart and tell him and he just carries on sitting there starring through me. When I have finished he says right after that crap you have been crying I bet you have a headache. I say shall we just and talk and he will say I have nothing to talk about.

    I am trying to harden myself up as far as he is concerned and give the extra love to my boys ,who are there for me.

    I think they get nasty when you cry or get anxious or depressed as it's something you are feeling on your own and I think they know all their wrongs just have no idea how to put it right.

    Hope after almost a year you are in a better place in your mind and gaining strength.


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