Anxiety and sex :/

Anxiety and sex :/

Hi this is question really I have health anxiety and OCD I'm on 40mg of Prozac and was wondering it anyone's else's sex life has gone to pot as I just can't not be bother and do not feel like it at all :( mind and my husbands sex life has been very healthy :) but since having our last baby who will be one next mth my health anxiety and OCD has gone thought the roof and sex is the very last thing on my mind but I'm worried he thinks I don't love him he has asked why we haven't had sex and glad becuz I don't really know what to say to him he doesn't believe in my illness and I can't talk to him about it he don't understand xxx

9 Replies

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  • Hi

    It wont be helping , if he doesn't understand or tries to understand how you feel

    I just wonder why he thinks you take Prozac , he must realise something is wrong

    I can remember back (just ) when mine were young , I had OCD & still have , but by the time you have run after them all day , cleaned & so on it is normal to think "o no " you are worn out

    I don't think its that you don't love him , its more you are drained with everything that is going on

    Meds , can have an affect , maybe talking to your GP would be a good idea

    Does anyone give you a break from the little one , grandparents maybe that now & again could have them over night , give you & hubby some quality time together

    I really do think he needs to try & understand & not sure if he wont listen how you can get him to , maybe write down how you feel , he might take that in more

    Try not to stress that wont help , & I am sure in time things will improve , but I don't think its usual how you are feeling & don't fear you don't love him anymore

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • He knows I have depression and anxiety whywhy but he says he don't believe in depresstion and I need to stop making things up so and im been silly and stupidmost of the time so cant and talk to him he just say talk to some who undertsands although I have tried very hard and even had he come the doctors with me but he just leaves me to pretty much xx

  • Sorry to hear this Marie , he doesn't seem very supportive & this certainly wont help

    That would put me of to , he doesn't sound very loving & we do need to feel loved

    Have you thought of some counselling , for you ?

    I would get all the help I could for me at the moment , even coming on here & talking & when you feel a lot better , then deal with the other issues

    You have to come first , as you need to be well for you & next importantly , your child & then I would see how the marriage is once I had achieved that

    For me , I need a man that loves me un conditionally , good & bad times & if he didn't well , I might sound harsh , but he wouldn't last long

    Keep talking on here & remember some men just don't have the ability & some women if they have never suffered to understand , but it doesn't mean they don't love you

    xxx

  • He isn't whywhy nor loving and now I find myself really not caring about him as he was ill the other day and normaly I look after him but I thought to myself no why should I he never cares how I feels he thinks I'm stupid and silly so I have to hide my emotions from him and everyone it's driving me insane over this past week with just feeling like crap I thought to myself why am I even here if I've got cancer and every other illness going I mite as well give up but then I look at my beautiful children and get scared becuz no will love and look after like me it's never ending will it ever stop whywhy xxx

  • I do feel for you & I no this illness is cruel , no one can see it , or if they don't suffer understand it

    The way you feel is normal though ,& we understand on here

    I would feel the same if someone was making me feel that way

    This will stop & you cant give up , because those kids need their Mum & you deserve to be happy

    I would go to my GP , tell them all this , write it down if you feel you will find it hard to talk & see about your meds & some counselling

    Don't feel bad about the way you feel , its ok to feel this way & it will get better

    Please ask for more help from your GP , or health visitor if you still have contact

    Talk on here & life will slowly get better , you will be happy again :-)

    xxx

  • I want to go bk to the GP but I think they are sick of me now they don't listen to me I give whywhy I really xx

  • No , they wont be sick of you , its their job & they get paid to see you

    When we feel low we think everyone is sick of us , but your GP is there to help

    Write down how you feel & let them read it , they should offer you help & if they don't they are not very good & I would see another GP

    Give it a go , people will support you on here

    You cant give up , none of us can , we do & will get better

    xxx

  • Hi Marie,

    Whywhy is talking a lot of sense here.

    May I just put a mans point of view here :-) and tell me off if I'm way off point.

    Its quite common for a lady to go off sex after a baby, and with all the anxiety too, its not surprising at all, and its ok too. It doesn't mean you dont love someone just because your anxious and knackered.

    I would say your hubby is only seeing this from his point of view, i.e. he is not getting his sexual needs met, and emotional needs met too, men can be like this......................tell him to grow up, stop being so bloody selfish, as you have needs too, i.e. feeling wanted and to be respected, understand you dont feel well, and start helping and supporting you around the house and with the kids.

    Stop talking down to you, you are not a machine, and if he wants any sexual relationship, he better buck up his ideas, start treating you right, and not try to force you into feeling so guilty, that you will give in to him.

    Sex dont work that way...................god men...................oh I'm a man lol.

    Also when the kids come along its natural for you to put more of your attention to the children, and here he is probably feeling left out, he is saying " why am I not your first concern " its like a baby talking, but alot of men are like this. He doesn't want to share you with anyone, and here some ill feeling can arise towards the kids.

    This is why you need to talk to him straight, and let him know you wont take this behaviour, kick his arse to the curb.

    Untill he can believe and support you in your illness, tell him to get stuffed :-) your the most important person to get well first, let him know he is not helping when he is insensitive.

    wishing you well

    Bxxx

  • Hi Marie

    I'm so so sorry love you're feeling so low, and you don't sound as if you're getting much if any support! I agree with everything Whywhy and Baylien have said - okay, maybe your husband doesn't understand your anxiety, but what's wrong with saying "I don't understand, love, but I accept what you're feeling, and i'm here to support and help you in any way i can!" Frankly, from what you've said about his attitude, i'm not surprised you don't want sex with him - why would you? For women I think more than men, sex is an expression of love, trust and commitent and if you're not getting that, then - well ..... Also, Prozac can reduce sex drive - maybe another AD would be better for you, not just for that, but it doesn't appear to be working anyway, hun!

    Go back to your GP - if they're not interested, try another one! - and say you want counselling - you say you've no-one to talk to, a counsellor would be there FOR YOU and that's really important atm - they won't judge you, laugh at you, or tell you off! Insist, hun, you really do need to!

    You could also see if MIND has a local group in your area, where you could meet up with fellow sufferers for mutual support, advice and the rest. Go to:-

    mind.org.uk/help/mind_in_yo...

    I don't know much about this, but you might find it helpful - try

    mumsnet.com/relationships

    Like I say, i don't know much about it, not being a mum ;) but you might find it helpful!

    good luck, my love, and keep blogging on here, lots of support, advice and friendship - and no-one will judge you here!

    Big hugs

    {{{{{{{{{Marie}}}}}}}}

    Rose

    xxxxxxxx

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