I am now in a position where I cannot face a crowd being the centre of attention. I can't talk in front of strangers in public without visibly shaking and my voice breaking. This manifested itself in the worst possible way recently at a school sports day in a dad's race. The expectation of my children, family and friends to 'win' the race led to an almost uncontrollable anxiety attack with my body and particularly legs shaking. It affected me so badly that within five seconds of running, I stumbled and fell because my legs practically gave way beneath me. I told everybody that I slipped, which was partly true, but the fact was my muscles gave way through sheer stress. The more at stake the more anxious I become. What worries me most is that my anxiety will prevent me from protecting my family at some point in the future when they need me most.
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