I had been doing much better the last few months but these last two weeks have felt like so much longer and I feel pretty bad right now.
Alot a situational stress( very sick pet, job announcing layoffs, getting the flu) has for some reason given the signal for my brain to give me flashbacks/ awful memories of my most recent traumas with my abusive relationship. Confusing because I thought I'd moved past alot of these feelings. It would just be helpful if my subconscious would stop trying to macguyver the information stored- I already know he was awful and lied about almost everything I don't need new dot connects of lies or painful sensations of when things hurt in the past. CPTSD is so challenging, I'm having to remind myself alot these past few weeks that I'm safe, he can't hurt me anymore and those things happened a while ago/ they aren't happening right now. Because in those moments the emotions feel like it just happened again and that is so overwhelming.
I hate the idea it may take years to move past some of this fully. He already took too much from me and I worked really hard to get back to eating twice a day and finding my hobbies again. It seems like a delay on the rest of my life.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
