Hospice -I need to process this…thank... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Hospice -I need to process this…thanks for reading

Starrlight profile image
56 Replies

My dad and mom and I met with my mom’s nurse today which resulted in me setting up my mom with hospice care. Please send out positive vibes and prayers. I am spending a lot of time with her to make sure she gets everything she needs to be comfortable. I hope to be by her side when she lets go and I do hope her experience is a good one. I know that may sound weird but it’s like finally breaking free of the shell she is stuck in and I believe she will go to a good place with my brother and grandparents. I miss her already. She has Alzheimer’s. She stays in bed and does not talk very often. She is very expressive though and lets us know so much through her face, her hands, her sounds. She is such a beautiful soul.

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Starrlight profile image
Starrlight
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56 Replies
melbrown profile image
melbrown

Big warm hugs & peaceful thoughts Starrlight. I can't imagine all what you & the family must be feeling/thinking. Here for you dear one. 🫂💗🕊

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to melbrown

❤️ Thank you ☺️

Darkhouse profile image
Darkhouse

We worked w hospice when my beloved grandma passed from lung cancer. They are amazing and can help you through this almost as much as they will help your mum. Death in our society is shunned and not really discussed, however, it's a part of life and something that everything that lives will experience. I'm so sorry that you're loosing your mum... Sending positive vibes to her, you, and your family for the duration of her transition.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Darkhouse

I feel happy for her that I feel she will have peace.

Yes they asked us about our beliefs ( my parents are Catholic and I am very spiritual) but I’m not sure what they will offer other than anointing of the sick for my mom… I don’t pretend to know what happens after death but I just think of a tunnel for her energy to release into and picture her seeing light before she leaves to it.

Celinesnana profile image
Celinesnana

hi starlight- I just went through this with my dad. It is tough and I am still grieving but I feel so grateful and honored to have been able to be there with him at his toughest moments and when he took his last breath. It is an unfortunate and sad part of the cycle of life. But As you said, she will be reunited with her loved ones so she will be at peace. I am certain she wants you to live your life with a renewed gratefulness and passion after taking care of her. I wish you peace and all the best. Remember to take moments out for yourself during this process. Feel free to reach out if you need to. 🙏🏼

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Celinesnana

Celinesnana thank you. That sounds beautiful how you were there for your dad.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Dearest Starrlight.. you are such a good daughter and I can't help but feel your

mother feels your presence and your love. I pray that her transition is a peaceful

one which I'm sure it will be because of the dedication of the Hospice Nurses by

her side. Letting go will be harder for you and your father but believe in your

heart that your mother will be free from the prison she has been locked in. She will

then be the mother you so dearly remember. Hold those memories in your heart.

My prayers and thoughts are with you through this difficult time. You are not alone

dear friend. We walk with you. :) xx

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Agora1

yes i will be holding the memories in my heart… I constantly picture her sparkles in her eyes and smile she used to have. Thank you for walking with me.

SayNOtoPanic profile image
SayNOtoPanic

Truly praying for your mother. And for you and your dad to deal with it all. This is a trigger subject for me but has to send you a hug and support. Prayers up 🙏🏻May she be wrapped in blessings and Grace.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to SayNOtoPanic

Beautiful … thank you so much

Stippler profile image
Stippler

I am sorry to hear about your Mom. My Dad was in hospice in 2004 and they made him as comfortable as possible, and they were very respectful to the family's needs as well. Sending prayers. I am holding you and your family in God's Light. 🙏🙏🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Stippler

Sorry about your dad. Love that- holding us in God’s Light- thank you so much!

Stippler profile image
Stippler in reply to Starrlight

🙏🙏🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Stippler

🙏🙏🙏

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda

Hi SL.

Firstly I'm sending ur whole family my love, light & prayers, my wish is that the highest of angels come escort ur mom to the next path that she is needed to be on & be at peace.

Remember to be kind to urself too & grieve, but most of all remember mom at the bestest of times & know she is no longer in pain.

Lastly I send U all love, light & prayers 🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to DodgeDhanda

Thanks so much true I do need to grieve. I just found a picture of me and my mom in the woods together in 2015 before she really had the disease it’s a really good memory. Thanks for the love light and prayers.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda in reply to Starrlight

Always sending to those who need it & I've already walked the path of losing my parents, lost mom at 4 & dad when I was 17 & I'm almost 52 & I've luckily had my siblings there to help me & I've made some good friends here that can understand me when I'm not doing so well.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to DodgeDhanda

Sorry for your losses. I’m glad you made good friends.

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

It's a very loving thing to want peace for those we love who have suffered...

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to fauxartist

yes ❤️

Oh, Starrlight! I am very sorry to hear this news. Yes, please process for as long as you need to.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thank you Norw I appreciate that I know I will need to keep processing especially when there are changes in her health.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

Star

My sister was under the care of hospice for 6 months. They were absolutely wonderful. The care and compassion from a hospice team is amazing.

They go have a social worker. They will come to your house and meet with you and your family if you need family meetings to talk things out.

I was with my sister when she took her last breath. I can't tell you what a beautiful experience that was. We had planned it that way. That's what she wanted and we were given that gift.

Everyone is here to support you. None of this is easy. Please lean on us. We love you

❤️🐬

in reply to Dolphin14

You just made me think of something; thank you!

Star, I had some one-on-one's with the hospice social worker and it was very helpful. Since I'm religious, my dad also set up appointments for me to meet with the hospice chaplain as well. That was helpful as well. Please use the staff. They are there for the entire family.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to

Oh yes, thank you for adding about the Chaplain. My sister was religious and did utilize this service as well.

❤️🐬

in reply to Dolphin14

You're welcome! Good morning from me!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to

Good morning back at you. I hope you have a good day :)

in reply to Dolphin14

Thanks! I'm heading to book club right now (don't worry; I'm not driving😅) and then for a session of ice falling..I mean skating.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to

Hahaha.

I may be joining you. I'm going out for a walk soon and that black ice can be hard to spot

Enjoy but stay upright

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

lol

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

lol

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

That’s so so nice that your sister went when you were with her and I’m glad it was beautiful. You are such a very special beautiful soul. The same kind of experience is what I want and picture for me and my mom. Thank you I soooooo love you guys too

❤️⭐️

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

❤️

It was just by chance we were together. It was my time to go home but I noticed something different and decided to stay.

It doesn't always happen the way we want it to but that's ok. It will never take away the love and time you spent with your mom

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

Thank you. Whatever will be will be.

Afibflipper profile image
Afibflipper

Starrlight - my heart goes out to you and you are showing such strength & devotion right now so bless you and your family. I know you want to be with her when she passes, it’s a sort of honour to be able to do that isn’t it. I’m sure despite everything she knows you’re there and if you’re talking to her I’m sure her memories somewhere will be lightly triggering within her. I used the time I had to just say everything I’d never been able or got round to say and wish I had. If for a moment you do nip out of the room and you are not there and she passes over - please be kind to yourself, you did nothing wrong by by not being there at that moment (and it may only be a moment) think if it as her sparing you that final upset as she proceeded peacefully on her final journey to her loved ones on the other side. She’ll always be with you, in your heart she’ll go everywhere with you, let your grieving take its own time - there’s no limit, no right time to stop - just go with it hour by hour day by day and one day the sun will shine more brightly and that will be the day she gives you the biggest spiritual hug to light up your life and she’s saying “it’s ok, you’re ok” she’s ok too. 🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Afibflipper

Afibflipper, you are amazing. You touched my heart deeply and I appreciate receiving your sharing knowledge and for your understanding. ❤️

Afibflipper profile image
Afibflipper in reply to Starrlight

Glad it helped, thinking of you x

Hope4me1 profile image
Hope4me1

I am sending up prayers for you and your mom. 🙏🏼🕊️❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Hope4me1

Thank you bunches Hope ❤️

OtOFrance profile image
OtOFrance

Hi Starrlight

All my thought are with you and your family. It is, I can imagine, a great despair to have to bring your mum there.

But she's lucky, you are human, sensitive and will be able to hold her hand for long !

Send her long road away kisses !

Love from France

O

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to OtOFrance

Hospice comes to our home. She is comfortable today so far. Last night I gave her a few doses of morphine which helped keep her comfortable.

OtOFrance profile image
OtOFrance in reply to Starrlight

Sorry, dear Starrlight for my misunderstanding. You keep holding your mum's hand, and this is the nicest gift a human can make to an other one. Be proud of yourself, because you are much better than most !

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to OtOFrance

Thank you OtOFrance we have a good team we all love her so much!

oh Starr, you have such a wonderful spirit. Treasure these moments you have with your mom and know that she treasure them too. Many prayers to both of you and your family.🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

So nice thank you for the compliment and yes I am treasuring my time with her. Thanks for prayers.

primrose81 profile image
primrose81

Sending all my love to you dear Starrlight Xxxx

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to primrose81

Primrose thank you so! Love rightbackatchya friend. ❤️

Arymretep profile image
Arymretep

Thinking of you at this sad time 😘x

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Arymretep

Thanks ❤️

bonkers65 profile image
bonkers65

❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to bonkers65

❤️

Srb3147 profile image
Srb3147

I wish I had the words. You can feel the love for your mother, and see the amazing relationship that the two of you must’ve had. Your mother was a woman of faith. You can still see a glimpse of the joy and love through her facial expressions. As a Christian, she knew before her health deteriorated that in the end she was going to a beautiful place. A place where she will be surrounded by love, and joy, and peace. She has an amazing daughter. You are an amazing daughter. I honestly believe that she will be watching over you. I’m adding you and your family to my prayers. I pray that she goes peacefully. I pray that you and your family find comfort in the midst of your grief. Lean on God! He will hold you. He will be with you, and he will not forsake you. Sending all my love!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Srb3147

That means so much to me, your prayers, and you’re kind words. I will remember she will be watching over me… Beautiful to think about.

Hi there .am a care practitioner and work with palative care regularly my cousin also band 5 nurse works in a hospice and uts definitely not easy or nice to see for all involved. All you can do is process all in own time and take each day at a time .sending you a big hug x

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thanks Chez I hope to help her during her time of dying to be as loved and comfy as possible. I miss her already but am happy to be spending time caring for her.

in reply to Starrlight

Can only do tour best hun x

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