Anyone else here just feel like they need a friend?

[Duke1830]

Struggling with social anxiety disorder for nearly 20 years ( since I was 15) has had a horrible impact on chances of having a friend just to vent to. I was lucky enough to find a woman who has been understanding and has been in my life for a long time, but she recently suffered medical complications due to stress and high blood pressure (she is ok now) and I can’t help but feel it is from me venting to her nearly every day. I really think it might be beneficial to have someone to talk to without holding back due to feelings of guilt, or worry that I’m overwhelming them.

[Starrlight]

Hi! I know what you mean. I’m here for ya.

[Weelon]

Hi Duke1830, I can relate. I have one friend who I vent/speak to occasionally but I get the impression she compares our issues & she points out her issues are much worse than mines. Does your friend ever compare? If she doesn't she's a diamond & it's good of you that you are aware. Maybe flip between chatting on here and with your friend so it takes the pressure off her a little bit. I have another friend who's a bit more understanding, I call her when I'm really anxious and worried but on a day to day, I use apps like this. Hope you find a happy medium.

[b1b1b1]

If you want to vent on a continuing basis it may be best to see a psychiatrist or therapist.

[OkayishMoose]

Yeah, I really miss having friends around me. I've had a couple of really close friends that have been great to talk to, but they're all in different areas from me these days and I haven't been able to make new friends where I am (and communicating over the phone is a lot different than in person). Therapy is very helpful and can fill a similar role to small parts of what I want friends for (while also being very useful in other respects), but it isn't close to the same thing.

[Duke1830]

Thanks for all the comments, I reread what I wrote and it didn’t sound as I meant it to, I didn’t mean vent as in yelling, I meant I talk to her on a daily basis about how I am feeling. She is a diamond and after so many years I feel as though she doesn’t need to hear my problems all the time. And I wish I could talk to a psychiatrist or therapist but the level of social anxiety I have doesn’t allow me to talk to anyone face to face. I am taking baby steps in that direction though, joining this community and actually writing surprised the hell out of me lol. I am determined to get better, I just have to do it a bit at a time.

[Weelon in reply to Duke1830]

I’m with you on that. I don’t think I could talk to a therapist face to face either. I find it hard enough just to open up. This group has been great if you speak with the right people. I’ve started to come back on here & feel free to vent/talk. I knew what you meant.

[OkayishMoose in reply to Duke1830]

At least some of us understood what you meant by venting there (though I very much relate to rereading something I've written and worrying about all the ways it could be misinterpreted). I understand needing to go slowly and take things one tiny step at a time; I tried and gave up on therapy multiple times because it was too big a step for me where I was at. You know yourself better than any of us internet strangers do, and if posting some on this board is a helpful step towards being able to improve your life (however that looks for you) that's amazing. If talking face to face is the main issue with pursuing professional help, there are options for both remote therapy and psychiatry that might be worth at least thinking about. Whatever tools you find or mental health resources you end up drawing on I hope they end up being effective for you.

[Agora1 in reply to Duke1830]

Hi Duke, take advantage of the fact that we are here 24/7 always ready to

listen and to share our own journeys. You can feel secure in knowing that

we never judge, we understand and most of all we care. Talk soon xx

[Elizabeth830]

I am struggling with making friends. I have lots of superficial friends at work but no one that wants to really listen to my struggles. I feel like I am there to listen and support them but they do not reciprocate. And from the friend perspective, I might want to look the other way when I see myself coming down the hall with that look on my face of another troublesome night or weekend that I need to vent about.

[Duke1830]

anyone can feel free at anytime to message me and I will listen without judgement. I had no idea so many of us were so similar in this way and I know how awful it can feel and play on your mind. I wish I would have joined a community like this long ago, as it has been a blessing to know I’m not alone. My offer will always stand for anyone who needs to vent. I’ve gotten so much great advise and skills from these chats that I would love to give a little back.